The bar chart below shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar graph provides the regular physical
activity
rates between the different age
groups
of men
and women
who lived in Australia in 2010.
Overall
, Both male
and Fix the agreement mistake
males
female
experienced Fix the agreement mistake
females
downward
trend throughout the Correct article usage
a downward
age
groups
. The regular physical activity
rates had some fluctuations on
both male and female Change preposition
in
age
groups
. Although
young men
did regular physical
than Fix the agreement mistake
physicals
women
at
the Change preposition
of
some
Correct your spelling
same
age
, women
outraced men
at
the Change preposition
in
elder
Correct your spelling
older
age
groups
.
The male regular physical activity
was about 52.8% in age
15-24, being higher than female 5.1%. Then
it decreased about
10.6 % and 2.7%Change preposition
by about
in
Change preposition
at
age
25 to 34 and 35 to 44 respectively. Fix the agreement mistake
ages
However
, the percentage of australian
Change the capitalization
Australian
men
climbed up again,
and continued to grow Remove the comma
apply
slighly
until Correct your spelling
slightly
age
65 and over, reaching 46.7% and hitting at
the lowest point of Change preposition
apply
this
bar graph.
The female australian
from Change the capitalization
Australian
age
15 to 24 did regular physical activity
about 47.7%. The figure showed a gradual increase about
1.2% in the Change preposition
of about
age
25 to 37. As well as
the
Correct article usage
apply
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
age
35 to 44 and 45 to 54 , Replace the word
aged
they
did regular physical Correct pronoun usage
apply
activity
more than the young age
female
about 52.5% and 53.3%. Fix the agreement mistake
females
However
the group of Add a comma
,However
women
whose age
were between 55 to 64 did less general physical Fix the agreement mistake
ages
activity
, being
at 53%. Unnecessary verb
apply
Then
figure
showed a drop to 47.1% Correct article usage
the figure
on
Change preposition
in
women
age
65 and above, outracing the rate of Wrong verb form
aged
men
group.Correct article usage
the men
Submitted by Kthedprom on
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words activity, age, groups, men, women with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "figure" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "showed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 5 times.
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