Children of ages 7-11 now spend more time watching television and/or playing video games than before. What are the effects of this on children, family and society? What are the possible solutions to this situation

#children #ages #time #television #video #games #effects #society #situation

Nowadays, pre-teens spend more

hours

searching for

programs or playing online

video

games

than before. The primary effects are that many

children

might become obese and

this

increases the lack of communication between family members. The most viable solutions are setting

time

Add an article

a time

show examples

limit to play

video

games

and setting family physical activities during the weekdays. One of the effects is that many of these

children

might become obese

due to

not moving around for long periods of

time

, so they tend to easily gain weight.

Firstly

, watching too many

Correct your spelling

show examples

programs leads to

have

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

a sedentary life, so some of these kids tend to eat when they are watching the

. Another effect is that these kids choose to not talk with their family

memebers

Correct your spelling

members

because they are too busy

playign

Correct your spelling

playing

video

games

online, so they avoid any type of

interruptions

Fix the agreement mistake

interruption

show examples

like talking with other people. On top of

this

, sometimes they text to communicate with their parents,

sot hey

Correct your spelling

so they

show examples

do not have to stop playing and search for people.

For instance

, in The USA, a

recetn

Correct your spelling

recent

study shows that the average

hours

for

children

playign

Correct your spelling

playing

video

games

is seven to twelve

hours

, and many of them suffer from obesity. One of the possible solutions to

this

situation is that parents need to set

time

Add an article

a time

show examples

limit when

children

are playing

video

games

This

might help them to be conscious about the

time

and avoid being

addictive

Replace the word

addicted

show examples

to it. Another solution is that adults need to set physical activities during the weekdays like

Wrong verb form

going

show examples

for a walk or playing any physical activity in the park, so

this

might help them to interact as a family team. To illustrate, in California, there are many free programs that include activities

such

as football

socer

Correct your spelling

soccer

, basketball and skating, so

children

might be interested in

practicing

Change the spelling

practising

show examples

any of these sports. In conclusion, today, most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

children

Add an article

the children

show examples

spend several

hours

during

Correct article usage

the

show examples

day playing

video

games

or watching

progams

Correct your spelling

programmes

and these lead s to several effects

such

seffering

Correct your spelling

suffering

from

obese

Replace the word

obesity

show examples

and

lack

Correct article usage

a lack

show examples

of communication skills;

however

, some of the solutions are to set

time

Add an article

a time

show examples

limit for playing

video

games

and practice any type of physical sport.

Submitted by cuevas14dic on Fri Sep 01 2023

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task response

Your essay is well-structured and has a clear introduction and conclusion. The main points are supported and relevant examples are given. However, there is room for improvement in presenting a more clear and comprehensive response to the topic.

coherence and cohesion

Your essay demonstrates a logical structure and clear coherence in the presentation of ideas. However, some of the ideas could be connected more effectively to improve overall coherence and cohesion in the essay.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
6Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
22Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

363 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Children of ages 7-11 now spend more time watching television and/or playing video games than before. What are the effects of this on children, family and society? What are the possible solutions to this situation

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

In many places, people's lifestyles are changing rapidly, and this affects family relationships.

More and more people are choosing to socialise online rather than face to face. Is this a positive or negative development ?

In some places old age is valued, while other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion

art classes, such as painting and drawing. are as important to child's development s other subjects, so it should be compulsory in high school. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some people believe that children should be banned from using their phones during the school day. Others believe that children should be allowed to use their phones.Discuss both these views and give your own opinion.