IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

At an event you attended recently, you met an employee of a company you would like to work at. You talked to her and she suggested that you should contact her if you needed any help with your job application. Write a letter to this employee. In your letter: 1. remind her how you met and ask for some help 2. tell her what kind of job you are interested in 3. ask her about the company's job application process

Dear Ms. Brown, I hope
this
Linking Words
 letter finds you well. I'
m
Use synonyms
 writing
this
Linking Words
 letter to inform you that I would like to
help me
Verb problem
know
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 how to join
in
Change preposition
apply
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your company.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I
have
Verb problem
apply
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met each other on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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last
Linking Words
 Friday at
an
Correct article usage
a
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 Cookie Foodie Lover event. As I told you, my name is Ramita. I'
m
Use synonyms
 a pastry chef. I'
m
Use synonyms
 good at baking all
of
Check wording
kinds of
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 bakery.
Moreover
Linking Words
, I need your
helping
Replace the word
help
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 to apply
Change preposition
for the
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the
Correct article usage
a
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 job in your company. As you know, I'
m
Use synonyms
 a pastry chef. So, I'
m
Use synonyms
 interested in the career that about baking
bakery
Check wording
apply
show examples
.
In addition
Linking Words
, I have
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
experience
about
Change preposition
as
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 being pastry chef in a Dusit Thanit Hotel
about
Change preposition
for about
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 2 years and 3
month
Fix the agreement mistake
months
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.
However
Linking Words
, I would like to know the company's job application process. Could you describe the
neccessary
Correct your spelling
necessary
 information and write it back
on
Change preposition
to
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 my email? My email is [email protected].
Also
Linking Words
, you can contact me on my number
phones
Fix the agreement mistake
phone
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. My number is 0809025178. Please let me know if you can
helping
Wrong verb form
help
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 me
and
Punctuation problem
, and
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 I hope you
sending
Wrong verb form
will send
show examples
letter
Correct article usage
a letter
show examples
 back. Your sincerely, Ramita Panprayoon

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organization
Make each idea in its own paragraph and start with a clear topic sentence.
language
Fix grammar and choose polite, formal words that fit an office letter.
conciseness
Keep the letter short. Say who you are, the job you want, and ask for the steps of the process.
mechanics
Check spell and mark in a proper way for greeting and closing.
tone
End with a clear ask, like if you can call or write back by a date.
content
Polite greeting and closing are used.
content
The letter talks of your job idea and shows you want to work there.
content
You share your contact details for a quick reply.
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