IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the diagram show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silkcloth

the diagram show the life cycle of the silkworm and the stages in the production of silkcloth
#show #life #cycle #silkworm #stages #production #silkcloth
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The given diagrams
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
 the information about
life
Add an article
the life
show examples
 cycle of
silkworm
Use synonyms
 and how to produce
silk
Use synonyms
cloth
Use synonyms
 from
Use synonyms
cocoon
Add an article
the cocoon
a cocoon
show examples
. The first chart shows the four stages of
Correct article usage
the lifecyacle
show examples
lifecyacle
Correct your spelling
lifecycle
life cycle
 of
Use synonyms
silkworm
Fix the agreement mistake
silkworms
show examples
 starting from eggs to
Linking Words
last
Correct article usage
the last
show examples
 stage moth. As we can see
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
,
eggas
Correct your spelling
eggs
 are converting into
silkworm
Use synonyms
larva
Fix the agreement mistake
larvae
show examples
along with
Linking Words
 the mulberry leaf 10 days after
first
Correct article usage
the first
show examples
 and second
step
Fix the agreement mistake
steps
show examples
 respectively . In
Correct article usage
the thirdstage
show examples
thirdstage
Correct your spelling
third stage
third-stage
,
silk
Use synonyms
thread
Use synonyms
 is begin to produce after 4 to 6 weeks. Second
Rephrase
apply
show examples
lastly
Linking Words
 ,
Use synonyms
Cocoon
Correct article usage
a Cocoon
show examples
 is formed and
Linking Words
lastly
Add a comma
,lastly
show examples
 after 16 days moth
produced
Add a missing verb
is produced
show examples
 and
cycle
Add an article
the cycle
show examples
 goes on/ Production of
silk
Use synonyms
cloth
Use synonyms
 is
man made
Add a hyphen
man-made
show examples
 procedure. It has various stages till
production
Add an article
the production
show examples
 of
cloth
Use synonyms
.
Firstly
Linking Words
 ,
appropriate
Correct article usage
the appropriate
show examples
 selection of
cocoon
Use synonyms
 is done. Afterwards,
Use synonyms
cocoon
Correct article usage
the cocoon
show examples
 will be boiled in water . Following that,
unwinding
Correct article usage
the unwinding
show examples
 of
Use synonyms
thread
Correct article usage
the thread
show examples
 will be done
aroung
Correct your spelling
around
 300-900m.
Next,
Linking Words
twisting of
thread
Use synonyms
 will be. Later, weaving and dying of
thread
Use synonyms
 will done .
Overall
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the lifecyacle
show examples
lifecyacle
Correct your spelling
lifecycle
life cycle
 of
silkworm
Use synonyms
 and
production
Correct article usage
the production
show examples
 of
silk
Use synonyms
cloth
Use synonyms
 has
diffrent
Correct your spelling
different
 stages.
Submitted by bhumikashah1414 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "lastly".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words silkworm, silk, cloth, cocoon, thread with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: