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Band 4

While recruiting new employee, the employer should pay more attention to their personal qualities, rather than qualifications and experience. To what extent do you agree or dis agree?

#employee #employer #attention #qualities #qualifications #dis
Consideration of individual
atributes
Correct your spelling
attributes
 which are compared to the paper qualifications and
work
experience
 should be increased
while
 interviewing people. I strongly agree with his phenomenon because particular experiences
beneficial
Add a missing verb
are beneficial
show examples
 to enhance efficiency
as well as
 ,
knowledge
Correct word choice
and knowledge
show examples
 may influence to
create
Replace the word
creation
show examples
Change preposition
of a
show examples
a
Change the article
an
show examples
 expert in a specific field.
This
 essay will elaborate
further
 to justify my opinion.
To begin
 with,
experience
 is one key consideration in increasing the productivity of the
person
 which is paramount for the prosperity of the company. If someone is able to
work
 without any mistakes will be beneficial to reduce unnecessary wasting in the industry, which is vital to escalate the profit.
For example
, most experienced workers engaged with
shirt
Correct article usage
a shirt
show examples
 manufacturing employer called “Hemas”
work
 with the least wastage saving their raw materials, which is influenced to improve their profit, are priviledge that the company has received which immensely impact on the progress of the employer.
Hence
, workers with higher
experience
 are the backbone of the workplace.
Furthermore
, specific knowledge in
specific
Correct article usage
a specific
show examples
 sector leads to
be
Wrong verb form
being
show examples
 a
person
 expert in own particular area. If
person
Add an article
a person
the person
show examples
 has better academic
qualification
Fix the agreement mistake
qualifications
show examples
 in the related aspect, will be able to become
specialist
Correct article usage
a specialist
show examples
 in that place in
Correct article usage
a short
show examples
short
Correct word choice
shorter
show examples
 duration than,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
 do not have specific knowledge because they would be able to understand the situation and solve the issue as they think critically.
For instance
,
academic
Change the adjective
academically
show examples
 qualified workers are keen to understand
Correct article usage
the machinary
show examples
machinary
Correct your spelling
machinery
 issues of the company, which
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
I used to
work
than
Change preposition
for than
show examples
,
who
Correct pronoun usage
those who
show examples
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
only had
experience
, as they were
expert
Fix the agreement mistake
experts
show examples
 with well – informed about machines and
Correct pronoun usage
their function
show examples
function
Fix the agreement mistake
functions
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
Therefore
, paper qualifications are
also
 vital when searching
new
Change preposition
for new
show examples
 people
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the industry.
To conclude
,
according to
 the above ,clarifications employers must be
concern
Wrong verb form
concerned
show examples
 about educational background and working capabilities crucial to improve
efficiency
Correct article usage
the efficiency
show examples
 and proficiency of a
person
.
As a
result
Add a comma
result,
show examples
 I thoroughly disagree with
this
 statement.
Submitted by adpremadasa82 on

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task response
Improve task response by clearly stating whether you agree or disagree with the given statement and provide supporting arguments accordingly.
coherence cohesion
Enhance coherence and cohesion by organizing the essay into clear paragraphs with topic sentences, supporting details, and a clear conclusion. Link ideas logically throughout the essay to improve coherence.
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