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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The line graph shows the number of customers in four restaurants between 1990 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The line graph shows the number of customers in four restaurants between 1990 and 2015. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#line #customers #four #restaurants #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates
about
Change preposition
apply
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the
count
 of shoppers made by four distinct food corners from
year
Change the article
the year
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 1990 to
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 2015.
Overall
,
it is clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Pizza Hut and Chicken
spot
Capitalize word
Spot
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 were the significant customer holders but output fell down
at the end
. Meanwhile, the Donut Bro and the Burger Bar were
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
doing
Verb problem
making
show examples
 progress over the period. In the
year
 1990, the Donut Bro was the second lowest food point with only 2.5
thousands
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thousand
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 buyers but it came up with
an
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a
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 rapid increase
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 8 thousand in 2015 and
become
Wrong verb form
became
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most
Correct article usage
the most
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recoganised
Correct your spelling
recognised
recognized
 among all restaurants.
In contrast
, The chicken point was the second highest with 6000 customers in
year
Change the article
the year
show examples
 1990 but after dramatic
changes
Add a comma
,changes
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 the least
count
 made by it was approximately 3000. On the other side, the massive
count
 of 8 thousand clients managed by Pizza
hut
Capitalize word
Hut
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 during the starting period
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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suffered from the loss of 3 thousand by 2015.
However
, the Burger bar raised the
count
 of people from approximately 1000 to 4000 from 1990 to 2015 respectively.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words count, year with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "approximately" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • fluctuated
  • steady rise
  • declined gradually
  • significant growth
  • overtook
  • peaked at
  • dipped to
  • remained stable
  • saw a surge in
  • experienced a slump
  • outperformed
  • lagged behind
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