IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

Some people choose to work at one job for a long time. Others prefer to change jobs frequently. Which way do you think is better? Use specific reasons and examples to explain your choice.

#people #work #job #time #change #jobs #choice
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Nowadays the
job
Use synonyms
 market is full of opportunities and sometimes we
get
Verb problem
apply
show examples
attempt to dive
in
Change preposition
into
show examples
 something new.
This
Linking Words
 is what happens when you have a lifestyle that matches
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the "change
job
Use synonyms
 frequently" outfit, but for people who search for stability, a
job
Use synonyms
 for a long
time
Use synonyms
 is the right one. In
this
Linking Words
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will show why I believe that being in the same company for a long
time
Use synonyms
 is better for me.
To begin
Linking Words
with
Add a comma
,with
show examples
 the possibility to improve
job
Use synonyms
 experience, to get promotions over
time
Use synonyms
 and
strenghten
Correct your spelling
strengthen
 the bond between leader and employer. To illustrate, I am a mom and I can not keep jumping through jobs, so I need stability.
In addition
Linking Words
, I am a nurse, I studied a lot to reach where I am right now and I want to receive some recognition
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
 what I am producing and have produced, so I expect a salary increase as longer I stay in the same workstation.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
work
Wrong verb form
working
show examples
 in the same place for too long can become boring and you start to develop less,
although
Linking Words
 as
time
Use synonyms
 passes the leaders where you work
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 to build
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
confidence in your production and
promotes
Correct subject-verb agreement
promote
show examples
 you. In conclusion,
this
Linking Words
 essay showed why I think that
maintain
Wrong verb form
maintaining
show examples
 yourself at the same
job
Use synonyms
 for years
long
Rephrase
apply
show examples
is better
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
 people who are willing to wait until
starts
Correct subject-verb agreement
start
show examples
 to get high salaries and
as a consequence
Linking Words
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
have turned into someone the leaders can trust and share the following steps of the company. Personally, my
time
Use synonyms
 to change jobs frequently is gone and I was never really inside
this
Linking Words
 team because where I live you have to show seniors that you are a reliable person.
Submitted by Juliana Da Silva on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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