IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Question -Your manager has asked you to arrange a party for a colleague leaving the company. Write a letter to your manager. In your letter suggest a suitable date and time for the party recommend a venue propose the food and entertainment options that should be available

#-your #manager #party #colleague #company #date #time #venue #food #entertainment #options
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Dear manager, Thank you for
providind
Correct your spelling
providing
 me with a chance to organize a retirement party for
the
Correct article usage
a
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 colleague. I am writing to let you know a suitable date and venue.
In addition
, a brief overview about the available food and
entertainement
Correct your spelling
entertainment
 options is noted. The coming week is a long weekend and
according to
 me, Saturday night, which is 21st September is a suitable date.
Further
, 8 p.m. shall be a suitable time
to begin
 as most of the employees will be spending time with their
respected
Replace the word
respective
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 families during the day. Being an outgoing and social person, I would like to suggest "Befikre" located on
the
Correct article usage
apply
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Torbram Road, Mississauga as our venue.
Firstly
, it
open
Add a missing verb
is open
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 till late
night
Change preposition
at night
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, and
secondly
, close to our
accomodations
Correct your spelling
accommodations
accommodation
. On the weekend night, they feature a band till 11 p.m. and later we can enjoy and dance
on
Change preposition
to
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 the DJ music.
Although
, it is a
mexican
Change the capitalization
Mexican
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 restaurant and the food is quite expensive
but
Correct word choice
apply
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the quality they offer is unbeatable. I would suggest
to go
Change the verb form
going
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 for
buffet
Correct article usage
a buffet
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 system
instead
 of ordering single dishes. Thank you for your consideration Yours faithfully Harshveer
Submitted by harshveermangat141 on

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task response
Ensure that the letter addresses all aspects of the task, including the recommendation of food and entertainment options.
coherence and cohesion
The letter lacks a proper greeting and closing, and the coherence and cohesion could be improved by organizing the ideas into distinct paragraphs.
Topic Vocabulary:
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