IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Write about the following topic. It is sometimes said that ‘travel broadens the mind’. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience. You should spend about 40 minutes on this task. Do not write your real name and surname or email address in your ans

#topic #‘travel #mind’ #minutes #name #surname #email #address #ans
It is believed that those who travel become very exposed.
Therefore
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 completely agree because
people
 get exposed to different cultures and traditions of the
places
 they visit and
also
 become more innovative and creative.
Firstly
 traveling provides
people
 with a deeper insight into the cultures and traditions of the
places
 they visit.
This
 is because interacting with local residents offers visitors a wide variety of knowledge about their customs and lifestyle
Which
Correct pronoun usage
This
show examples
 is very beneficial for them in
Correct article usage
the along
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along
Correct your spelling
long
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 run, meaning that the same ideas can be used to make changes in their communities back home resulting
into
Change preposition
in
show examples
well informed
Add a hyphen
well-informed
show examples
 minds that can be of
agreat
Correct your spelling
great
a great
 value and support to their countries as a whole.
For example
, visitors can
know
Verb problem
learn
show examples
 more about a different culture by travelling to very popular museums which have great cultural values.
Secondly
, when
people
 come to various destinations, they become more creative and innovative.
This
 means they
get
Verb problem
are
show examples
 amazed by how these
places
 have developed even more than where they come from.
Therefore
 these foreigners are absolutely enticed to venture into
such
places
For
example
Add a comma
,example
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 Dubai has very amazing airports and buildings with modern breathtaking views that travellers cannot fully witness without going there , as
aresult
Correct your spelling
a result
people
 travel all the way from Africa to get an insight .
People
 can learn from the quintessence of the world and apply it to support their country. In conclusion
Add a comma
,
show examples
travelling undoubtedly does an amazing job for the development of knowledge and experience about certain cultures and customs and
also
 change on how they do things and increase in ideas.
Submitted by nassuunahairat45 on

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Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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