IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The chart above shows the number of men and woman in further education in Britain in three periods and whther they studying full-time or part-time compares both genders although decided received تلقى substantial increase around 100 doubling comparison مقارنه escalated (تصاعدت) from 50 thousand in 1970/71 to almost 200 thousand in 1980/81, at the same level as males a decade later. approximately considerably الى حد كبير . In contrast,

The chart above shows the number of men and woman in further education in Britain in three periods and whther they studying full-time or part-time compares both genders although decided received تلقى substantial increase around 100 doubling comparison مقارنه escalated (تصاعدت) from 50 thousand in 1970/71 to almost 200 thousand in 1980/81, at the same level as males a decade later. approximately considerably الى حد كبير . In contrast,
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The bar chart depicts the figures of
male
Fix the agreement mistake
males
show examples
 and
female
Fix the agreement mistake
females
show examples
 who
complete
Wrong verb form
completed
show examples
the high
Correct word choice
higher
show examples
 education in the UK from 1970 to 1990 either for
full-time
Correct article usage
a full-time
show examples
 or
part time
Add a hyphen
part-time
show examples
 system. It is clear from the graph that the student, as an aggregate, increased throughout the time span.
According to
Linking Words
 what is shown, part-time male
students
Use synonyms
 were at the one million mark in the first period (1970/71)
while
Linking Words
 full-time
students
Use synonyms
 were only
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 tenth of
this
Linking Words
 figure. After getting a dip by about 130
thousand
Use synonyms
, the not fully committed
students
Use synonyms
recoverd
Correct your spelling
recovered
 by 60
thousand
Use synonyms
 reaching 930
thousand
Use synonyms
. The full-time dedication by men learners kept rising till it hit
240,000
Correct article usage
the 240,000
show examples
 mark in the
last
Linking Words
 decade. Regarding female learners, part-time
students
Use synonyms
 socketed substantially by 200,000 after it climbed slightly in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
1980- 1981 by the quarter of the
last
Linking Words
 increment. The
full time
Add a hyphen
full-time
show examples
 student got more popular at the beginning of the period by 100
thousand
Use synonyms
 increase which climbed very modestly later.
To sum up
Linking Words
, we could say that females
over numbered
Correct your spelling
overnumbered
show examples
 males in the count of
students
Use synonyms
 in 1990 contrary to what was three
secades
Correct your spelling
seconds
 back.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "last".
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words students, thousand with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "figures" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "climbed" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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