For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?

#people #favourite #time #activity #activities

Shopping used to be an activity limited to only those who

are

Wrong verb form

were

show examples

able to afford it financially. As

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society

progress

Correct subject-verb agreement

progresses

show examples

, more and more young

people

enjoy spending their free

time

Change preposition

apply

show examples

shopping. A major contributor to

this

trend is the advancement of internet technology and personally, I am of the belief that young

people

should be encouraged to explore different

activities

in their free

time

Internet

Add an article

The Internet

show examples

has transformed our lives in many ways. One of

Correct pronoun usage

them

show examples

is the rise of social media. Young

people

generally spend hours on social media and a lot of companies advertise heavily on these websites in order to attract potential customers.

Many

Correct quantifier usage

Much

show examples

of the

contents

Fix the agreement mistake

content

show examples

posted online

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

show examples

to attract

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

potential buyers. Under the influence of these contents, young

people

feel they “want” the product and make

purchase

Fix the agreement mistake

purchases

show examples

subsequently

In addition

, shopping can be done effortlessly online by clicking a few buttons on our smartphone and the items will be delivered to our doorstep.

This

complements the online experience as young

people

are able to watch the product advertised and purchase it immediately. In my opinion, young

people

ought to do other

activities

that are beneficial for themselves during

pastime

Correct article usage

the pastime

show examples

. Spending

time

activities

that

allows

Correct subject-verb agreement

allow

show examples

one to gain more knowledge helps vastly in terms of personal growth compared to shopping.

For example

, reading widens one’s horizon and enhances vocabulary.

In addition

, young

people

are mostly at the stage of

self exploration

Add a hyphen

self-exploration

show examples

hence

, they should do different

activities

that will help them to discover their passion.

This

is rather important as finding what they truly enjoy doing increases their

overall

life satisfaction as well.

To conclude

, shopping should be done on

on-need

Correct article usage

an on-need

show examples

basis only rather

Correct word choice

than as

show examples

a way of spending

time

. With

bright

Correct article usage

a bright

show examples

future ahead of them, young

people

should cultivate different hobbies that will enhance their life and focus on self-growth.

Submitted by kanchanakularathna1991 on Sat Sep 09 2023

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for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
17Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

309 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

7.5

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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For many young people today, shopping is their favourite free time activity. Why do you think this has happened? Should young people be encouraged to do different activities in their free time?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

nowadays, people are purchasing too many unnecessary goods. how it influences individuals and society? is it a negative or positive development?

Despite the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

Fewer and fewer people today write by hand using a pen, pencil or brush. What are the reasons for this? Is the decline in writing by hand a positive or negative development?

Nowadays, a growing number of people with health problems are trying alternative medicines and treatments instead of visiting their usual doctor. Do you think is a positive or a negative development?

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+