You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The diagram shows the different stages in the production of woolen goods. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 words.

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The diagram shows the different stages in the production of woolen goods.

Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

You should write at least 150 words.
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The above step-by-step diagram represents several levels of manufacturing of woollen goods.
Overall
, the process comprises thirteen different steps. It shows the procedure of how the
wool
starts its journey from producing the
wool
and
thereafter
producing the final finished product. Mainly, the
wool
is normally obtained from the fur of sheep. The second step includes
the
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“shearing” in which the
wool
is extracted from the sheep's body which is dirty in condition.
Further
, the
wool
is
then
transferred to the cleaning sector to clean the contaminated
wool
and bring out the washed cool. Now, the washed cool is processed to the drying area to dry the wet fur into a dried hair and handed to the spinning section where the spinning is done to bring together the scattered
wool
in a line to form
wool
and a string. At the same time, the
wool
is segregated into two types one is the string which is the unsuitable
wool
and
thereafter
goes recycling.
On the other hand
, the
wool
that is
competent is brought to the next level of production. In the next steps, the fabricated
wool
is converted into the cluster and
further
is
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transported to the storage system.
Finally
, the manufactured
wool
is transformed into the result
that is
balls of yarn which are
further
used for making clothes out of knitting and other products
such
as carpets and jackets.
Submitted by poojapatil0213 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, that is, thereafter".
Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words wool with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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