Some people feel that certain workers like nurses, doctors and teachers are undervalued and should be paid more, especially when other people like film stars and company bosses are paid huge sums of money that are out of proportion to the importance of the work they do. How far do you agree or disagree?

#people #workers #nurses #doctors #teachers #film #stars #company #bosses #sums #money #proportion #importance #work

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It is quite evident in today's era that there is a growing earnings gap among various

occupations

. It has been felt by many people that certain roles are not paid reasonable remuneration in proportion to the type and quality of

work

they do in relation to the other

occupations

This

essay will outline both viewpoints and

also

explain why

such

excessive salary is utterly unjustifiable for celebrities and CEOs. Certain

occupations

are undervalued especially in the present era in relation to job roles and responsibilities.

Occupations

like teachers

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and doctors are heavily underpaid and

this

can be attributed to the two main reasons. First and foremost, their results are minuscule and not quite noticeable to the general public. Teachers,

for instance

, are considered to be the essential building blocks of the nation,

however

, their

work

is not rewarded or revered by the public.

Secondly

such

occupations

are not promoted by the society and media unlike that of sports and TV celebrities.

Consequently

, the market value they gain is negligible resulting in low pay.

On the other hand

, roles like company executives, film stars, and sports

person

Fix the agreement mistake

persons

show examples

are paid exceedingly high as their

work

is in the limelight from their investors and spectators, which in turn results in significant pressure on them to deliver the required results and meet the expectations of the people. In the case of Tesla,

for instance

, in 2018 Elon Musk was about to go bankrupt and be ousted as the CEO if he

wouldn't

Verb problem

didn't

show examples

have delivered

Wrong verb form

deliver

show examples

up to the expectations of the stakeholders.

Additionally

, they can bring name and fame to a country,

for example

, by winning a global event.

Likewise

, a CEO can raise a company's market capitalization and guide companies to

it's

Replace the word

its

show examples

new highs, ultimately resulting in a huge pay package. In conclusion, there is undoubtedly a huge pay disparity among various

occupations

, falling out of line with the proportion and significance of the job they do.

Consequently

, I strongly opine that

occupations

involved in the groundwork ought to be paid justifiably higher

along with

their

work

being promoted so there is income parity between the two groups.

Submitted by harshdpatel3443 on Sun Sep 10 2023

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Task Response

Ensure that the response fully addresses all parts of the task, presents a well-developed response to the question with relevant, extended and supported ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion

You have a clear overall progression throughout the essay with a good use of linking devices and cohesive devices. However, some improvements are needed to ensure that ideas are logically organized and connected.

Lexical Resource

There is a good range of vocabulary used with flexibility and precision. However, there is room for improvement in the use of more advanced vocabulary and idiomatic expressions.

Grammatical Range

There is evidence of a wide range of complex structures with more advanced use of grammar, but there are instances of errors and lack of sentence variety. Work on eliminating errors and strive for more sentence variety for a higher score.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

354 words

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Your opinion

Some people say that the only reason for learning a foreign language is in order to travel to or work in a foreign country. others say that these are not the only reasons why someone should learn a foreign language

In many countries, people are now living longer than ever before.Some people say anageing population creates problemsfor governments.Other people think there are benefits if society has more elderly people. To what extent do the advantages of having an ageing population outweigh the disadvantages?

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1.Many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar, which causes many health problems. Sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consume less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

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