In education and employment, some people work harder than others. Why do some people work harder? Is it always a good thing to work hard?
Effort is an aspect of professional development encompassing various dimensions within education and employment.
Number
of factors can contribute to education and Change the article
A number
The number
employement
. Several factors contribute to why some Correct your spelling
employment
individuals
demonstrate a different work
compared to others. Motivation plays a role as those who have a passion for their endeavours tend to invest more time and energy into them. Which results in external influences such
as background, upbringing and socioeconomic status can shape an individuals
Change noun form
individual's
work
ethic. For
instance
Add a comma
instance,
individuals
raised in environments that value work
may naturally adopt a sense of diligence and commitment to work
.
However
it is crucial to know that not all forms of hard Add a comma
However,
work
lead to benefits. The quality of effort holds importance alongside its quantity. Pushing oneself excessively without rest or balanace
can result in burnout ultimately resulting in a lower level of the Correct your spelling
balance
individuals
productivity and commitment. Change to a genitive case
individual's
individuals'
Therefore
it becomes vital to navigate when and how to allocate effort intelligently. Adopting an approach, towards time management goal setting and understanding limits are all essential components of effective hard work
.
Moreover
the nature of Add a comma
Moreover,
pursued
field itself can influence how impactful hard Add an article
the pursued
work
becomes. In intellectual domains employing measured and reflective approaches may yield better outcomes compared to relentless exertion. It is crucial to grasp the intricacies of the task at hand in order to devise the
efficient approach.
Correct article usage
an
To sum
up
the differences in Add a comma
up,
work
arise from a blend of drive external factors and individual situations. While
dedication is admirable it must be balanced with self understanding
. Ultimately attaining success in education and Add a hyphen
self-understanding
employement
lies not in working harder but Correct your spelling
employment
also
, in working smarter.Submitted by z.pfister on
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Task response
The essay partially addresses the given topic but lacks depth of analysis. More specific examples and elaboration are needed to fully support the main points.
Coherence and cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are present, but the logical structure of the essay needs improvement. Use of cohesive devices and clearer progression of ideas is necessary for better coherence.
Lexical resource
The essay demonstrates a good range of vocabulary, but some expressions are used inaccurately. Pay attention to the precision of word choice and idiomatic usage.
Grammatical range
The essay expresses ideas with a varied sentence structure. However, there are several grammatical errors that affect the clarity of the writing. Review the use of punctuation and verb forms for better accuracy.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.