IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

1) The line chart demonstrates the number of books that were borrowed in four variety months in 2014 from four countryside libraries and the pie graph shows the percentage of books,by type,that was borrowed in this time.

1) The line chart demonstrates the number of books that were borrowed in four variety months in 2014 from four countryside libraries and the pie graph shows the percentage of books,by type,that was borrowed in this time.
#line #books #four #variety #months #countryside #libraries #percentage #type #time
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1) The line chart demonstrates the number of
books
Use synonyms
 that were borrowed in four variety months in 2014 from four countryside libraries and the pie graph shows the percentage of
books
Use synonyms
,by type,that
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
show examples
 borrowed in
this
Linking Words
 time. 2) Anyone can see in the graph
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
that most of the
books
Use synonyms
 were
lend
Wrong verb form
lent
show examples
 to people in the village of Rye Slip and Sutton Wood.Because
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
people of that places bought exactly 300
books
Use synonyms
.In
september
Change the capitalization
September
show examples
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
 Sutton Wood showed the highest outcome,but in
june
Change the capitalization
June
show examples
,Rye Slip
village
Capitalize word
Village
show examples
shows
Wrong verb form
showed
show examples
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 number of
books
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
were sold almost 300
books
Use synonyms
.
Also
Linking Words
,the sales of Sutton Wood in August were minimally 100
books
Use synonyms
.But over the 1
month
Add a comma
,month
show examples
 the sales of
this
Linking Words
 village rocketed to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
300
books
Use synonyms
. 3)
if
Capitalize word
If
show examples
 we
are talk
Change the verb form
are talking
show examples
 about the
countrysides
Fix the agreement mistake
countryside
show examples
 which had
a
Change the article
the
show examples
 least
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 of
books
Use synonyms
.They are Church
mount
Capitalize word
Mount
show examples
 and West Eaton.Both of them had a sale of around 50
books
Use synonyms
 in June.
Also
Linking Words
,the book marketing in these two
countrysides
Correct your spelling
countries
show examples
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 exactly 150. By the way,the thing to mention is the kinds of
books
Use synonyms
 that
lended
Correct your spelling
lived
 in those four villages.They are fiction,history,science and biography
books
Use synonyms
.Among
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
them the trading for fiction was more than
those
Correct determiner usage
that
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,Biography
books
Use synonyms
 are in the first space in terms of
number
Correct article usage
the number
show examples
Use synonyms
books
Change preposition
of books
show examples
 that
borrowed
Add a missing verb
are borrowed
show examples
.And the
sale
Fix the agreement mistake
sales
show examples
 for science and history
almost
Add a missing verb
were almost
show examples
 the same with
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 percentage of 14. 4)
This
Linking Words
 is clear to us that almost
quarter
Correct article usage
a quarter
show examples
 of fiction
books
Use synonyms
 were sold in
the
Change the article
apply
show examples
2014.It is clear by
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 graph.
Also
Linking Words
,a mere 14
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of history and science
books
Use synonyms
 were
lended
Correct your spelling
lent
show examples
.
Submitted by dnm.best on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also".
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 100%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words books with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "graph" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 3 times.
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