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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The graph below shows the percentage change in the number of international students graduating from universities in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The graph below shows the percentage change in the number of international students graduating from universities in different Canadian provinces between 2001 and 2006. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The given graph depicts information about the proportion change in the number of overseas graduates
student
Fix the agreement mistake
students
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 from universities in various Canadian
provinces
Use synonyms
 between 2001 and 2006. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, it is clearly apparent that there was a big
differences
Change the noun form
difference
show examples
 in the number of graduates university student in most of the
provinces
Use synonyms
 in both years. In 2006, the New Brunswick province had the highest
international
Correct quantifier usage
number of international
show examples
 students who graduated from the university which almost
reach
Wrong verb form
reached
show examples
 12%. It
Linking Words
then
Add a missing verb
was then
show examples
 followed by Nova Scotia and British Colombia
provinces
Use synonyms
 that had almost similar
percentage
Fix the agreement mistake
percentages
show examples
 which was around 13%. The least popular province
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
this
Linking Words
 year was Alberta with only
have
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
more than 4%. In 2001,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
New Brunswick and Nova Scotia
also
Linking Words
become
Wrong verb form
became
show examples
 the most beloved
provinces
Use synonyms
 with more than 6%
graduate
Change preposition
of graduate
show examples
 students.
Another
Replace the adjective
Other
show examples
 famous destinations were Uebec and Alberta
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
 had approximately more than 4%. The province with the lowest percentage of International
graduates student
Fix the agreement mistake
graduate students
show examples
 was Ontario (3%).

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words provinces with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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