Some people think that the government should fund music, dance and arts lessons for children. Others think that they should be funded by private businesses or by children's families. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

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Music
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,
dance
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and
arts
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covers
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cover
show examples
everything in the world. In fact, nowadays is hard to find someone
Linking Words
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
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is not a
music
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,
dance
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or
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
art
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lover.
However
Linking Words
, some people think that the government have to fund
music
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,
dance
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and
arts
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lessons
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for
children
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, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
the government
have not
Verb problem
has
show examples
to fund them. On the one
hand
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
recognize that
music
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,
dance
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and
arts
Use synonyms
are really important but
on the other
Linking Words
hand
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I think,
also
Linking Words
, that other hobbies
such
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as
:
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
volleyball, tennis are important too. So,
i
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I
show examples
think that the government can't pay for every
hobbies
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hobby
show examples
that our
children
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want to do.
Also
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, nowadays most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
schools
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allow students to receive
music
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and
art
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lessons
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. In fact, during
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
middle and high school not only,
every
Add a missing verb
does every
show examples
students
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student
show examples
in
italy
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Italy
show examples
have to follow
art
Use synonyms
lessons
Use synonyms
with a degree teacher in
this
Linking Words
type of field; but
also
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during the three years of middle
school
Add a comma
,school
show examples
you can receive more hours after school to improve a specific instrument.
Moreover
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, there are
specifics
Fix the agreement mistake
specific
show examples
music
Use synonyms
,
dance
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and
art
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high
schools
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with
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
various
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
program
Fix the agreement mistake
programs
show examples
based on what you want to learn
such
Linking Words
as a violin
instead
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of a guitar for
music
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high
schools
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,
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
or
Correct word choice
apply
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sculpture
instead
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of pottery
of
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apply
show examples
art
Use synonyms
high
schools
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, or maybe classical
instead
Linking Words
of modern ballets for
dance
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high
schools
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. So, on the one
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hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
you have to pay
every
Change preposition
for every
show examples
stuff or
instruments
Fix the agreement mistake
instrument
show examples
that you need to follow the
lessons
Use synonyms
but
on the other
Linking Words
Use synonyms
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
you do not
to
Fix the infinitive
apply
show examples
have to pay for anything. So, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
every
families
Change to a singular noun
family
show examples
can allow
children
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to follow
music
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,
dance
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and
art
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lessons
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without spending too much.
To conclude
Linking Words
, in my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
the
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
do not have to fund
music
Use synonyms
,
dance
Use synonyms
and
Use synonyms
arts
Change the noun form
art
show examples
lessons
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for
children
Use synonyms
because there are so many other opportunities to improve and grow
children
Use synonyms
's hobbies without spending a lot of money.

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Fully explain your ideas

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural development
  • socio-economic backgrounds
  • state-sponsored
  • national identity
  • heritage
  • preservation
  • cultural enrichment
  • creative expression
  • balanced education
  • specialized offerings
  • market demand
  • innovation
  • personal investment
  • commitment
  • learning experience
  • unequal access
  • hybrid approach
  • vibrant
  • equitable
  • arts ecosystem
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