IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts gives information about the rate of electrical using for different purposes and how much time spent by the owner of houses in the year 1920 to 2019 in a country.

The charts gives information about the rate of electrical using for different purposes and how much time spent by the owner of houses in the year 1920 to 2019 in a country.
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The line graphs illustrate the trend of electrical
appliances
Change the noun form
appliance
show examples
 ownership in
households
Use synonyms
 and the
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 spent on housework from 1920 to 2019.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
households
Use synonyms
 owning electrical appliances significantly increased between 1920 to 2019,
while
Linking Words
 the
number
Use synonyms
 of times per
week
Use synonyms
 spent
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 housework sharply declined. The percentage of
households
Use synonyms
 with refrigerators noticeably rose from zero
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1920 to one hundred
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1980 and
level
Wrong verb form
levelled
show examples
 off at
this
Linking Words
amount
Use synonyms
 until 2019. The
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
households
Use synonyms
 with vacuum cleaners
also
Linking Words
 sharply went up from thirty
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 to one hundred
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2000.
Likewise
Linking Words
, the
number
Use synonyms
 of
households
Use synonyms
 owning washing machines markedly grew from forty
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1920 to seventy
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1960, fluctuated between sixty to seventy
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 between 1960 to 2000, and slightly increased to above seventy
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2019.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, the
Use synonyms
amount
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 doing housework per household dramatically slumped from 50
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 in 1920 to 20
hours
Use synonyms
 per
week
Use synonyms
 in 1960. The
number
Use synonyms
 of
hours
Use synonyms
 gradually dropped from 20
percent
Use synonyms
 in 1960 to 10
percent
Use synonyms
 in 2019.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words households, number, hours, week, amount, percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Electricity consumption
  • Household activities
  • Technological advancements
  • Energy efficiency
  • Appliance usage
  • Lifestyle changes
  • Societal shifts
  • Economic factors
  • Historical data
  • Energy consumption patterns
  • Residential design
  • Electrical equipment
  • Time spent
  • Adoption
  • Correlation
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