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Writing Samples
Band 7

The three pie charts compare the composition of four different meals, namely breakfast, dinner, lunch and snacks, in terms of three nutrients, namely sodium, saturated fat and added sugar.

The three pie charts compare the composition of four different meals, namely breakfast, dinner, lunch and snacks, in terms of three nutrients, namely sodium, saturated fat and added sugar.
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The displays three pie
chart
Fix the agreement mistake
charts
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 compare the composition of four different meals, namely
breakfast
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,
dinner
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,
lunch
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 and snack, in terms of three nutrients, namely
sodium
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, saturated fat and added
sugar
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, The data is on average percentages of
sodium
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, saturated fats and added
sugar
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 in typical meals consumed in the USA.
Secondly
Linking Words
, In added
sugar
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, in
breakfast
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 it is 16%, in
dinner
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 it is 23%, in
lunch
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 it is 19% and in
snacks
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 it is 42%.
Thirdly
Linking Words
, In
sodium
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, in
breakfast
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as well as
Linking Words
snacks
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 it is 14%, in
lunch
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 it is 29% and in
dinner
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 it is 43%. In saturated fat, in
breakfast
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 it is 16%, in
dinner
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 it is 37%, in
lunch
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 it is 26% and in
snacks
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 it is 21%.
To conclude
Linking Words
, there
is
Change the verb form
are
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 great
differnces
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difference
differences
 in
breakfast
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,
dinner
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,
lunch
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 and
snacks
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. The above information describes
about
Remove the preposition
apply
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the three nutrients, namely
sodium
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, saturated
fast
Correct your spelling
fat
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 and added
sugar
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.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 90%.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words breakfast, dinner, lunch, sodium, sugar, snacks with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
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