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Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The charts below show the percentage of water used for different purposes in six areas of the world. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #percentage #water #purposes #six #areas #world #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The six
shown
Verb problem
apply
show examples
pie charts compare the
consumation's
Change noun form
consumation
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in industrial, agricultural and
finally
Linking Words
 domestic
usage
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
method
Fix the agreement mistake
methods
show examples
 in six different parts of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
 including
Europe
Use synonyms
. As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be seen in all
pie
Correct article usage
the pie
show examples
 chart,
countries
Use synonyms
 almost
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
 the same
rate
Use synonyms
 of consuming
water
Use synonyms
 among
three
Correct article usage
the three
show examples
 different methods
therefor
Correct your spelling
therefore
show examples
 agricultural use of
water
Use synonyms
 has been the most wasting
method
Use synonyms
 for
entire
Correct article usage
the entire
show examples
 given areas.
In
Linking Words
contrast
Add a comma
,contrast
show examples
rate
Use synonyms
 of
usage
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
 in
household
Add an article
the household
a household
show examples
 group has been the lowest
water
Use synonyms
consumation
Correct your spelling
consumption
consummation
 of
water
Use synonyms
 for almost all
Correct article usage
the metioned
show examples
metioned
Correct your spelling
mentioned
 parts of
world
Add an article
the world
show examples
, except for South America. Agricultural use of
water
Use synonyms
 is the greatest
method
Use synonyms
 for
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
's percentage. In
second
Correct article usage
the second
show examples
Use synonyms
countries's
Remove the s
countries'
show examples
 rows
rate
Use synonyms
 of
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in rural fields for growing
plant
Fix the agreement mistake
plants
show examples
 has gained more than 80
Use synonyms
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 and for
above mentioned
Add a hyphen
above-mentioned
show examples
 row
Use synonyms
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 in agriculture has dropped slightly to
Correct article usage
a percentage's
show examples
percentage's
Change noun form
percentage
show examples
 number of more than 35
Use synonyms
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 with
Correct article usage
a exeptional
show examples
exeptional
Correct your spelling
exceptional
 number of 32
percentages
Use synonyms
 for
Europe
Use synonyms
 that industrial
usage
Use synonyms
are
Change the verb form
is
show examples
 the most
rate
Use synonyms
 of
cosumation
Correct your spelling
consumption
consummation
.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the other
show examples
other
Change the wording
another hand
other hands
show examples
hand
Add a comma
,hand
show examples
 domestic
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 has been dramatically the lowest
rate
Use synonyms
 of
usage
Use synonyms
 with
average
Change the article
an average
the average
show examples
 number of
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 than 10
Use synonyms
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 but
like
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has been shown in
charts
Correct article usage
the charts
show examples
house hold
Correct your spelling
household
show examples
usage
Use synonyms
 rose slightly higher in American and
Europe
Use synonyms
countries
Use synonyms
with
Change preposition
in
show examples
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
show examples
of
Change preposition
to
show examples
Asia's
Change noun form
Asia
show examples
 and
Afirca's
Correct your spelling
Africa's
countries
Use synonyms
.As
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
can be
abservbed
Correct your spelling
absorbed
observed
 industrial
method
Use synonyms
 for
water
Use synonyms
usage
Use synonyms
 is more than 45
Use synonyms
percentages
Replace the word
per cent
show examples
 for modern
countries
Use synonyms
 like
Europe
Use synonyms
 and
USA
Correct article usage
the USA
show examples
.
Submitted by hedoyeraisy on

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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
▼
Basic structure: Add more body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Write more paragraphs.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words rate, water, usage, method, europe, countries, percentages with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "charts" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 7 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "slightly" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • water consumption
  • agricultural, industrial, domestic
  • usage patterns
  • developed vs developing regions
  • irrigation systems
  • climate factors
  • percentage breakdown
  • water management
  • sustainability
  • residential water use
  • efficiency
  • charts comparison
  • water-intensive
  • water scarcity
  • resource allocation
  • desalination
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