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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

the chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.

the chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories
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The bar chart illustrates the
amount
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number
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 of
minutes
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 (in
billions
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) of telephone calls in the UK among three categories: local, national and international-fixed
line
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, mobiles from 1995 to 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, it is obvious that calls made via local, and fixed
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line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
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 were the most popular type in terms of
overall
Linking Words
 usage. The lowest figures on the chart are for mobile calls, but
this
Linking Words
 category
also
Linking Words
 saw the most increase in
users
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user
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minutes
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. In 1998 and 1999, the graph shows local-fixed
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line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
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 around 90
minutes
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 (
billions
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), and national and international-fixed
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line
Fix the agreement mistake
lines
show examples
 approximately 50
minutes
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 (
billions
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).
On the other hand
Linking Words
, calls made by mobile increased
about
Change preposition
by about
show examples
 5
minutes
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 (
billions
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). In 1995 and 2002, the chart
demonstrate
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demonstrates
show examples
local-fixed
Correct word choice
that the local
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line
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 was not changed
nearly
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by nearly
show examples
 70,
while
Linking Words
national
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the national
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 and international-fixed
line
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 was about 35
then
Linking Words
 became around 60
minutes
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 (
billions
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).
In addition
Linking Words
, mobiles were around 5 and
then
Linking Words
 became almost 45minutes (
billions
Use synonyms
).
Submitted by essammohamed2015516 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes, billions, line with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 3 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number
  • minutes
  • telephone calls
  • UK
  • divided into
  • categories
  • from
  • to
  • overall
  • increased significantly
  • local fixed-line calls
  • accounted for
  • largest proportion
  • throughout
  • period
  • international calls
  • highest rate of growth
  • experiencing
  • sharp increase
  • national long-distance calls
  • remained relatively stable
  • slight decline
  • towards
  • end
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