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many manufactured food and drink products contain high levels of sugar,which causes many health problems.sugary products should be made more expensive to encourage people to consum less sugar. Do you agree or disagree?

#food #drink #products #levels #sugar #health #people #consum
The popularity of food
products
 which has been by
sugar
 is increasingly growing
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
among the
people
 in societies.The need for paying high
amount
Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
show examples
 of
costs
 is
comsidered
Correct your spelling
considered
 as an efficient way to prevent
sugar
products
 which bring about health issues.In
this
essay
Add a comma
,essay
show examples
 I will argue
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
why high
expanses
 can reduce the
consuming
Replace the word
consumption
show examples
 of these
foods
 and drinks among
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
 despite some negative impacts it has. As the vast group of
people
 are
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
big fans of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugary
products
 because of
its
Correct pronoun usage
their
show examples
 unique,wonderful tastes,they may possibly become mad,when they see the hefty
costs
 of their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
products
 which
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 not affordable.
Besides
,the producer companies will face financial
break down
Join the words
breakdown
show examples
,if
people
 no longer desire to purchase these
foods
 and drinks
due to
 their high
expanses
.
therefore
 the more expensive these
products
 become,the
more angry
Correct word choice
angrier
show examples
people
 we have and more companies will get out of work. In spite of the minor consequences it may have,increasing the
costs
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sugary
foods
 is completely the best way in order to prevent the wide variety of diseases it can bring to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
people
.
it
Capitalize word
It
show examples
 can be obviously seen that
people
 will no longer tend to go for the
products
 which highly
costs
 and does not worth to pay.
consequently
 the proportion of
sugar
 will reduce and we face much
less
Change the quantifier
fewer
show examples
 illnesses relevant to the sugary
products
such
 as heart disease or high blood
plessure
Correct your spelling
pressure
pleasure
.A recent study shows that 90% of
people
 ignore the
high
Correct your spelling
high-cost
show examples
costs
products
 in
india
Change the capitalization
India
show examples
 and prefer to look for
cost effective
Add a hyphen
cost-effective
show examples
 ones.So the high
expanses
 will completely affect the reduction in consuming sugary
foods
.
This
 essay argued
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
how the high
expanses
 will decline the number of
diseses
Correct your spelling
diseases
 related to
sugar
 things in spite of some undesired results.In my
opinion
Add a comma
,opinion
show examples
this
 is the most efficient way to motivate
people
 not to consume them.
Submitted by amir.abbas_jahani on

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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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