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Writing Samples
Band 5

The char below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.

The char below shows the value of one country's exports in various categories during 2015. The table shows the percentage change in each category of exports in 2016 compared with 2015.
The bar chart illustrates how much money did the countries earn
form
Correct your spelling
from
show examples
 five different types of
product
Fix the agreement mistake
products
show examples
 during 2015-2016.
Linking Words
While the
Correct word choice
The
show examples
 table shows how the percentage
change
Use synonyms
 in each type in 2016 compared with 2015.
Overall
Linking Words
, the value of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petroleum
products
Use synonyms
 earned the most in both 2015 and 2016,
while
Linking Words
 the
textiles
Use synonyms
 had the least value.
However
Linking Words
, the percentage
change
Use synonyms
 in
values
Use synonyms
 of
textiles
Use synonyms
 showed the biggest the the
change
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
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 agricultural was the smallest. The export earned from
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
petroleum was the most in 2015 which
sit
Correct subject-verb agreement
sits
show examples
up
Change preposition
apply
show examples
at more than 60%. And the engineered goods earned
also
Linking Words
 more than 60% but lower than the previous. The gems and
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
 made their
values
Use synonyms
were
Unnecessary verb
apply
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not as much as the previous two
products
Use synonyms
(41%).
However
Linking Words
, it was bigger than the
remain
Replace the word
remaining
show examples
 type of
products
Use synonyms
 about two folds. The agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 and the
textiles
Use synonyms
 almost had the same
values
Use synonyms
appropriate
Change the word
appropriately
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 31% or 32%. The table shows that only the percentage
change
Use synonyms
 in
values
Use synonyms
 of gems and
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
 decreased between 2015 and 2016
while
Linking Words
 others
also
Linking Words
 rose in their proportion. The petroleum
products
Use synonyms
 and the gems and
jewelry
Change the spelling
jewellery
show examples
products
Use synonyms
 changed
their
Change to a genitive case
the proportion of their values
their values' proportion
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values
Use synonyms
 proportion around 5%, 3% and 5.18% respectively. The engineered goods climbed their
values
Use synonyms
 about 8.5%
where
Correct word choice
whereas
show examples
 the
textiles
Use synonyms
 increased at the top of 15.24%, which was about
two folds
Correct your spelling
twofolds
 from luxuries.
However
Linking Words
, the
values
Use synonyms
 of agricultural
products
Use synonyms
 only
raised
Verb problem
rose by
show examples
 0.81%.

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, however, while".
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Basic structure: Change the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words change, products, textiles, values with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "table" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "shows" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "change" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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