Some people believe that employers should NOT be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #employees #dress #quality #work

Some people believe that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

managers don’t need to care about their worker’s

clothes

because the most important thing is their

work

quality. I think both have their own positives and negatives, depending on the type of job. On one hand,there are many companies

haven’t

Correct pronoun usage

that haven’t

show examples

required their workers to have a dress code anymore.

First,

not all

jobs

need employees to wear a uniform or formal

clothes

when they are working.

For example

, a computer designer works with computers most of the time so it is not necessary for them to wear formal

clothes

, they can wear casual

clothes

to feel comfortable and have a high quality of

work

Second,

there are many big companies that do not require their staff to wear a uniform. The purpose is to create an amazing, fun and creative

work

environment to enhance the quality of their staff’s production.

On the other hand

, there are some occupations that workers must wear in a formal way. There are many

jobs

where employees need to care about their

uniform

Fix the agreement mistake

uniforms

show examples

For example

, it is necessary for a doctor to wear their special

clothes

while

operating

for

Change preposition

show examples

their patient. Wearing uniforms

also

to show their politeness and respect for their customers.

For instance

, sellers in a supermarket have to wear formal

clothes

to create impressions for their guests. In conclusion, I believe that the way a person suits cannot affect their

work

. But in some

jobs

, employees should have a dress code to get the best of their

jobs

Submitted by namle.ivce on Sat Sep 23 2023

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task response

Ensure that the essay responds clearly to the task prompt. Make sure to present a well-structured argument that fully addresses both viewpoints presented in the prompt. Provide a balanced view and a clear position.

coherence cohesion

Work on creating a more logical and cohesive structure for the essay. Use linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas, and ensure that the essay flows logically from one point to the next. Also, make sure to incorporate a more developed introduction and conclusion.

lexical resource

Expand your vocabulary to include a wider range of words and expressions. Avoid repetition and strive for more varied and sophisticated lexical choices to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.

grammatical range

Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Work on using a variety of sentence structures, verb tenses, and complex grammar forms to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical proficiency. Also, ensure consistency in subject-verb agreement and use of articles.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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7Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
3Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

251 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 6.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that employers should NOT be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

The best way to reduce poverty in developing countries is by giving up to six years of free education, so that they can at least read, write, and use numbers. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Because of traffic and housing problems in the cities, the government encourages business to move to the rural area. Do you think the advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

The internet has transformed the way information is shared and consumed, but it has also created problems that did not exist before. What are the most serious problems associated with the internet and what are the possible solutions?

Nowadays, more people move away from their friends and families for work. Do advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

In the past, people lived in one place for a long time , but now they can live in many different places what are the reasons ? Is this positive or negative development ?