IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that employers should NOT be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality of work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #employees #dress #quality #work
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Some people believe that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
managers don’t need to care about their worker’s
clothes
Use synonyms
 because the most important thing is their
work
Use synonyms
 quality. I think both have their own positives and negatives, depending on the type of job. On one hand,there are many companies
haven’t
Correct pronoun usage
that haven’t
show examples
 required their workers to have a dress code anymore.
First,
Linking Words
not all
jobs
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 need employees to wear a uniform or formal
clothes
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 when they are working.
For example
Linking Words
, a computer designer works with computers most of the time so it is not necessary for them to wear formal
clothes
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, they can wear casual
clothes
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 to feel comfortable and have a high quality of
work
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.
Second,
Linking Words
there are many big companies that do not require their staff to wear a uniform. The purpose is to create an amazing, fun and creative
work
Use synonyms
 environment to enhance the quality of their staff’s production.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, there are some occupations that workers must wear in a formal way. There are many
jobs
Use synonyms
 where employees need to care about their
uniform
Fix the agreement mistake
uniforms
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
, it is necessary for a doctor to wear their special
clothes
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 operating
for
Change preposition
on
show examples
 their patient. Wearing uniforms
also
Linking Words
 to show their politeness and respect for their customers.
For instance
Linking Words
, sellers in a supermarket have to wear formal
clothes
Use synonyms
 to create impressions for their guests. In conclusion, I believe that the way a person suits cannot affect their
work
Use synonyms
. But in some
jobs
Use synonyms
, employees should have a dress code to get the best of their
jobs
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by namle.ivce on

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task response
Ensure that the essay responds clearly to the task prompt. Make sure to present a well-structured argument that fully addresses both viewpoints presented in the prompt. Provide a balanced view and a clear position.
coherence cohesion
Work on creating a more logical and cohesive structure for the essay. Use linking words and transition phrases to connect ideas, and ensure that the essay flows logically from one point to the next. Also, make sure to incorporate a more developed introduction and conclusion.
lexical resource
Expand your vocabulary to include a wider range of words and expressions. Avoid repetition and strive for more varied and sophisticated lexical choices to demonstrate a higher level of language proficiency.
grammatical range
Pay attention to grammatical accuracy and range. Work on using a variety of sentence structures, verb tenses, and complex grammar forms to demonstrate a higher level of grammatical proficiency. Also, ensure consistency in subject-verb agreement and use of articles.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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