the charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did no go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

the charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did no go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008.

summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
The two bar charts illustrate the information about the students who completed their graduation and post-graduation but they haven't got a fixed job in the year 2008. In
this
information full-time job is not included.
overall
, the two diagrams clearly
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
in part-time jobs and
further
studies,
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
they are
moduratly
Correct your spelling
moderately
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
in unemployment and the least favour is voluntary work. In the beginning, In the year ,2008 most of the individual are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
in
further
study after their graduation.
In addition
, part-time and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment are done mostly by 20000 students. ,
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
the
volentry
Correct your spelling
voluntary
work is done only by 3500
people
after their graduation. compartely the
further
study is the highest.
In addition
, after their post-graduation convocation,
people
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
like to do part-time and
further
study as their main thing. Other than that 1625 young
people
were unemployed. Voluntary work is not very popular and it is done only by 345
people
.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, in addition".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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