IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

the charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did no go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

the charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did no go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The two bar charts illustrate the information about the students who completed their graduation and post-graduation but they haven't got a fixed job in the year 2008. In
this
Linking Words
 information full-time job is not included.
overall
Linking Words
, the two diagrams clearly
shows
Change the verb form
show
show examples
 that most
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
individual are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in part-time jobs and
further
Linking Words
 studies,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
show examples
 they are
moduratly
Correct your spelling
moderately
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in unemployment and the least favour is voluntary work. In the beginning, In the year ,2008 most of the individual are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
 in
further
Linking Words
 study after their graduation.
In addition
Linking Words
, part-time and
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
unemployment are done mostly by 20000 students. ,
Linking Words
Moreover
Add a comma
,Moreover
show examples
 the
volentry
Correct your spelling
voluntary
 work is done only by 3500
people
Use synonyms
 after their graduation. compartely the
further
Linking Words
 study is the highest.
In addition
Linking Words
, after their post-graduation convocation,
people
Use synonyms
are
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
like to do part-time and
further
Linking Words
 study as their main thing. Other than that 1625 young
people
Use synonyms
 were unemployed. Voluntary work is not very popular and it is done only by 345
people
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, in addition".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
▼
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
▼
What to do next:
Look at other essays: