the charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did no go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

#show #uk #graduate #students #go #work #college #summaries #information #features #comparisons #relevent

The two bar charts illustrate the information about the students who completed their graduation and post-graduation but they haven't got a fixed job in the year 2008. In

this

information full-time job is not included.

overall

, the two diagrams clearly

shows

Change the verb form

show

show examples

that most

Change preposition

apply

show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

individual are

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

in part-time jobs and

further

studies,

however

Add a comma

,however

show examples

they are

moduratly

Correct your spelling

moderately

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

in unemployment and the least favour is voluntary work. In the beginning, In the year ,2008 most of the individual are

intrested

Correct your spelling

interested

further

study after their graduation.

In addition

, part-time and

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

unemployment are done mostly by 20000 students. ,

Moreover

Add a comma

,Moreover

show examples

the

volentry

Correct your spelling

voluntary

work is done only by 3500

people

after their graduation. compartely the

further

study is the highest.

In addition

, after their post-graduation convocation,

people

are

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

like to do part-time and

further

study as their main thing. Other than that 1625 young

people

were unemployed. Voluntary work is not very popular and it is done only by 345

people

Submitted by insighttribez on Tue Sep 26 2023

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "further, in addition".

▼

Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

▼

Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Replace the words people with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 6 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "information" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

▼

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6Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

160 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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the charts below show what UK graduate and postgraduate students who did no go into full-time work did after leaving college in 2008. summaries the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevent.

Some people in developed countries have a higher responsibility to combat climate change than developing countries. Others believe that all countries should have the same responsibility towards protecting the environment. Discuss both these views and give your opinion.

Many small, local shops are closing as they are unable to compete with large supermarkets in the area. What problems do it creates? How could this situation be improved?

Nowadays many people choose to be self-employed, rather than to work for a company or organization. why might this be the case? what could be the disadvantages of being self-employed?

Some people say free time activities for children should be organised by parents. Others say that children should be free to choose what they do in their free time. Discuss both views and give your opinion