IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 7

he chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

he chart below shows the total number of minutes (in billions) of telephone calls in the UK, divided into three categories, from 1995-2002. Summarise the information by selecting a reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#minutes #billions #telephone #uk #three #categories #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given bar diagram depicts the sum figure of
minutes
Use synonyms
 of
Australia
Correct your spelling
Australian
show examples
 telephone calls in three different kinds namely local, national & international, and mobiles during a period of seven years between 1995 and 2002.
Overall
Linking Words
, as clearly seen
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
the record of mobiles and domestic & international witnessed an upward tendency
while
Linking Words
 the data of local fluctuated moderately.
Besides
Linking Words
 that, it is obvious that the record of regional accounted for
bigger
Correct article usage
a bigger
show examples
 share than the others during the same period. In terms of domestic &
global
Correct word choice
and global
show examples
 and digital telephone calls, it is evident that the data of these two categories climbed gradually by 12 and 10 billion
minutes
Use synonyms
 between 2001 and 2005.
Nevertheless
Linking Words
,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
mobile calls increased rapidly starting from 12 units to approximately 46 units in four years from 2005
while
Linking Words
 the internal & worldwide remained
slight
Change the word
slightly
show examples
 rise and hit
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 peak at 61 billion
minutes
Use synonyms
 in 2008. With regard to the record of provincial calls, it is illustrated by the graph that
this
Linking Words
 data experienced an upward trend and reached the top at 90 units in 2005.
However
Linking Words
, the local slumped steadily to 72 billion
minutes
Use synonyms
 in the next four years.
Submitted by quynhtranhbh on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words minutes with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 3 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • total number of minutes
  • telephone calls
  • categories
  • local – fixed line
  • national and international – fixed line
  • mobiles
  • general trend
  • yearly totals
  • significant changes
  • milestones
  • data
  • rise significantly
  • decline
  • steady increase
  • fluctuate
  • peak
  • exponential growth
  • over the period
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