IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 5

Some people believe that employers should not be concerned about the way their employees dress, but they should be concerned about the quality at work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #employers #employees #dress #quality #work
There are mixed opinions that people should pay more attention to the quality at
work
instead
 of focusing on the
way
 that
workers
 choose their outerwear. In my perspective, I partly agree with
this
 phenomenon. On the first hand, allocating too much attention to aforementioned ideas can be detrimental, people should navigate their focus on the quality at
work
 as well. It is plausible that staff are likely to be distracted from
work
.
Workers
 may spend too much time determining what piece of
clothes
 they should wear on the next day,
instead
 of guaranteeing the task’s outcome they obligatorily need to accomplish. Another point to consider, depending on the
specialties
Change the spelling
specialities
show examples
 of some jobs, it’s rather time-consuming and inconvenient for
workers
 to be concerned about the
way
 they dress. Doctors, firefighters, lawyers, and so on tend to have restricted
code
Fix the agreement mistake
codes
show examples
 of conduct in terms of
work’s
Change noun form
work
show examples
 uniforms,
thus
 spending time to choose their outfits is counteracted and ineffective.
On the other hand
, employees impose a huge amount of consideration in the
way
 they dress is necessary in formal occasions. As the
workers
 equip themselves with not only a good
work
 ethic, the formal
clothes
 they choose
also
 advantageously
determines
Correct subject-verb agreement
determine
show examples
 their credibility and gain more trust from the customers. It possibly increases the positive impressions and proves the
workers
 as well-prepared and careful in terms of opting for suitable
clothes
 at
work
.
Additionally
, being able to be well-dressed concurrently motivates staff and builds a more dynamic workplace. People will potentially participate and commit to several effective outcomes
due to
 the fact that they feel comfortable in their
favorite
Change the spelling
favourite
show examples
clothes
. From that, that idea will consecutively transform the
work’s
Change noun form
work
show examples
 environment to be more stress-free and intriguing for
workers
.
As staff
Correct word choice
Staff
show examples
 can discuss their fashion choices and create a more appealing workspace. In conclusion, a wide range of comments have been made in relation to the amount of attention employees should spend in regards to their outfit or their
work
’s quality. I personally agree with the idea that the
way
staff’s
Change noun form
staff
show examples
 dress should be considered preferably.
Submitted by namle.ivce on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

What to do next:
Look at other essays: