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Writing Samples
Band 5

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The maps below show the centre of a small town called Islip as it is now and plans for its development. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#maps #show #centre #town #islip #plans #development #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The given maps illustrate the layout of
Islip
Use synonyms
town
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 in the present day
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 and its plan for
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
development.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that
currently
Add a comma
,currently
show examples
Islip
Use synonyms
town
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 only has a few public facilities.
However
Linking Words
, in the planned development map, there will be several new amenities and
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 pedestrian area. Recently,
Islip
Use synonyms
town
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 has
one-line
Correct article usage
a one-line
show examples
 main
road
Use synonyms
 from the west to the east.
Then
Linking Words
, there are
shops
Use synonyms
 in the north and the south of the Main
road
Use synonyms
.
Moreover
Linking Words
, behind the
shops
Use synonyms
, a housing area has been placed. From the main
road
Use synonyms
, there are two branch streets. One of the branches is located
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side of
Use synonyms
Shops
Correct article usage
the Shops
show examples
, and there is a school
in
Change the preposition
at
show examples
 the end of the street.
In addition
Linking Words
, the other branch is
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the east side of
Use synonyms
Shops
Correct article usage
the Shops
show examples
, and it is ended by the Park.
Furthermore
Linking Words
, in the plans for
Islip
Use synonyms
town
Use synonyms
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 development, the main
road
Use synonyms
 will be removed.
However
Linking Words
, there will be
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
new
road
Use synonyms
 access called
dual
Correct article usage
a dual
show examples
 carriageway that will surround the
Use synonyms
center
Change the spelling
centre
show examples
 and
does
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not have
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 ending.
Moreover
Linking Words
, in the
future
Add a comma
,future
show examples
 only one Shop will remain, and the other Shop will be removed.
Then
Linking Words
, the
removed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
shops
Use synonyms
 will be replaced by several new facilities
such
Linking Words
 as
Bus
Correct article usage
a Bus
show examples
 Station, Shopping
Center
Use synonyms
, and Car Park. The school is still in the same place as today, yet the park will be renovated to be smaller.
In addition
Linking Words
, new housing will be constructed in the south and north
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas
show examples
.
Submitted by zakiyaartanti19 on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however, in addition, moreover".
▼
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words islip, town, center, road, shops with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "maps" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • pedestrian-only zone
  • dual carriageway
  • current
  • surrounded by
  • propose
  • infrastructure
  • bus station
  • car park
  • residential housing
  • traffic flow
  • connectivity
  • green spaces
  • recreational areas
  • development plans
  • main features
  • town center
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