IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 word

You should spend about 20 minutes on this task. The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 word
#minutes #age #structure #populations #france #india #report #university #lecturer #information #summarise #features #comparisons #word
The bar charts illustrate the number of males and females in each
age
group
 in the population survey in
France
 and India conducted in 1984.
Overall
, It can be clearly seen that youngsters are lower than adults in
France
whereas
this
 figure was
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 for India.
However
, both genders show similar patterns for the two countries. When looking at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France
, under thirty-five generations of males and females accounted for around 4%. The adults belonging to the 65-35
age
group
 decreased
up
Change preposition
by up
show examples
 to 3%, after that in the next
group
this
 value rose sharply.
Moreover
, the female older population was higher than the
male
Correct word choice
older male
show examples
. Turning to India,
In contrast
, both women and men in the young generation are higher than that of
France
 which stood at around 7% to 4%.
Then
 it gradually decreases up to
age
group
 70 .
Then
 slightly increased up to 2% in the
age
group
 75
whereas
 the highest
age
 category that Indians
showed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.The female is higher than the male in
this
age
 category,
Submitted by subha.mri on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, france with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Population distribution
  • Age structure
  • Pyramid shape
  • Elderly population
  • Birth rate
  • Life expectancy
  • Healthcare quality
  • Working-age population
  • Gender distribution
  • Age brackets
  • Age dependency ratio
  • Absolute numbers
  • Substantial number
  • Broad base
  • Balanced
  • Tilted in favor
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!