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Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 word

The charts below compare the age structure of the populations of France and India in 1984. Write a report for a university, lecturer describing the information shown below. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant. You should write at least 150 word
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The bar charts illustrate the number of males and females in each
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 in the population survey in
France
Use synonyms
 and India conducted in 1984.
Overall
Linking Words
, It can be clearly seen that youngsters are lower than adults in
France
Use synonyms
whereas
Linking Words
this
Linking Words
 figure was
opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
show examples
 for India.
However
Linking Words
, both genders show similar patterns for the two countries. When looking at
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
France
Use synonyms
, under thirty-five generations of males and females accounted for around 4%. The adults belonging to the 65-35
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 decreased
up
Change preposition
by up
show examples
 to 3%, after that in the next
group
Use synonyms
this
Linking Words
 value rose sharply.
Moreover
Linking Words
, the female older population was higher than the
male
Correct word choice
older male
show examples
. Turning to India,
In contrast
Linking Words
, both women and men in the young generation are higher than that of
France
Use synonyms
 which stood at around 7% to 4%.
Then
Linking Words
 it gradually decreases up to
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 70 .
Then
Linking Words
 slightly increased up to 2% in the
age
Use synonyms
group
Use synonyms
 75
whereas
Linking Words
 the highest
age
Use synonyms
 category that Indians
showed
Verb problem
apply
show examples
.The female is higher than the male in
this
Linking Words
age
Use synonyms
 category,

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
▼
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words age, group, france with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.
▼
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Population distribution
  • Age structure
  • Pyramid shape
  • Elderly population
  • Birth rate
  • Life expectancy
  • Healthcare quality
  • Working-age population
  • Gender distribution
  • Age brackets
  • Age dependency ratio
  • Absolute numbers
  • Substantial number
  • Broad base
  • Balanced
  • Tilted in favor
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