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Band 4.5

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (150 Words)

The graph shows the amount earned by graduates of different age groups in 2002. It includes those with a degree, those with higher degree (postgraduate) and those with other qualifications. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting main features, and make comparisons where relevant. (150 Words)
#amount #graduates #age #groups #qualifications #information #features #comparisons
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The amount of money earned by workers with different
age
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ages
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 and
eduaction
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education
 during the week in
9
Correct article usage
a 9
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-5 job was shown in the line chart throughout the 2002 period.
Overall
Linking Words
, it can be seen that specialists with other experiences were well-paid,
whereas
Linking Words
 employees with
Correct article usage
a fisrt
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fisrt
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first
degree
Use synonyms
 and higher
degree
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 got almost the same salary. Another point is that people with higher
and
Correct word choice
apply
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initial education, who were in their
middle-age
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middle age
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, earned the same paycheck.
Obserbing
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Observing
 the details,
graduaters
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graduates
 with other
qualificatons
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qualifications
 started their career
lader
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ladder
later
 at just over 400 dollars a week, but
then
Linking Words
 there was
a
Correct article usage
apply
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dramatical growth, peaking at around 820 dollars in the middle-age. Despite growing sharply, people, who were 40-60 years old, saw a gradual drop off. If we look at workers with first education and postgraduate
degree
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, their salary
during
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apply
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stayed the same until 40 age. After that, employees with higher
Use synonyms
degree
Fix the agreement mistake
degrees
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 saw a slight growth in their salary,
while
Linking Words
 the
paycheck
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paychecks
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 of the
fisrt graduaters
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first graduates
 decreased.
At the end
Linking Words
 of life, people with higher
Use synonyms
degree
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degrees
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 were well-paid, but workers with first
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degree
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degrees
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 stayed
under-paid
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underpaid
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.
Submitted by aysulu20152 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words degree with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "amount" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: The word "growth" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stayed" was used 2 times.
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