The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.

The bar chart shows the percentage of Australian men and women in different age groups who did regular physical activity in 2010.
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The picture depicts the percentage of males and females of Australian countries of different ages who participated in physical movement in 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
it can be seen that the women took part in sports more than the men except among youngsters who were between 14 to 24 years old.
also
Linking Words
at the oldest stage was the same interest in physical activity Among the younger stage between 14 to 24 years old,
while
Linking Words
52.8 % participated in physical activities 47.7% of females were interested in doing sports. between ages 25 to 34, the women were more passionate about exercise. In more detail, 48.9% of them were interested in
such
Linking Words
activities
whereas
Linking Words
only 42.2 of the Australian men spent their time on sports. In the next three columns ( 35 to 44, 45 to 54 and 55 to 64) the number of women who allocated their time to physical exercise was almost the same( about 53%)
although
Linking Words
for the men was 39.5, 43.1 and 45.1. in fact, it is obvious that the older one was more eager to exercise. In the
last
Linking Words
column, Australian people of different two genders had the same interest in physical activities
whereas
Linking Words
about 47% of them took part in these exercises.
Submitted by rezasepas1367 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "whereas".
Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 3 times.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Physical activity
  • Regular exercise
  • Age demographics
  • Participation rate
  • Trend analysis
  • Gender disparity
  • Health initiatives
  • Public health policies
  • Statistical comparison
  • Lifestyle choices
  • Work commitments
  • Age-related factors
  • Preventative health
  • Exercise habits
  • Surveillance data
  • Motivators and barriers
What to do next:
Look at other essays: