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Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how tehy rated hotel's customer service.

The charts below show the results of a questionnaire that asked visitors to the Parkway Hotel how tehy rated hotel's customer service.
#show #results #questionnaire #visitors #parkway #hotel #tehy #customer #service
The pie charts
depicts
Change the verb form
depict
show examples
 the ratings given by customers of Parkway
hotel
 regarding their
service
 in the years of 2005 and 2010.
Overall
, in the year
2005
Add a comma
,2005
show examples
 most customers have given a review of satisfactory
service
 which is the third highest ranking from the list.
However
 minority of them have gotten
an
Remove the article
apply
show examples
excellent care from the
hotel
.
Consequently
, in 2010 the lowest percentage of people
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 a very poor
service
while
 most of them got
good
Add an article
a good
show examples
 reception. In 2005 nearly
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
half of
visitors
Correct article usage
the visitors
show examples
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 satisfied by the
hotel
 which indicates a moderate level of satisfaction for all of them. But, in 2010 only
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
17%
recieved
Correct your spelling
received
 a median level
customer
Change preposition
of customer
show examples
service
. The highest portion of residents consider
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
 as good and
this
 is almost a four in ten. Just above
one fifth
Add a hyphen
one-fifth
show examples
 of people believe they were treated poorly in 2005.
However
, in 2010
this
 rank was reduced
upto
Correct your spelling
up to
 12%.
Comparebly
Correct your spelling
Comparably
, in 2010, More than a quarter of
crowd
Correct article usage
the crowd
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
voted for excellent customer
treatements
Correct your spelling
treatments
 which was a growth of 23% compared to 2005.
In contrast
, a minimum of one in twenty assumed the
service
 was
exccellent
Correct your spelling
excellent
 in 2005.
In addition
, in that year 14% and 15%
has gotten
Wrong verb form
got
show examples
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
good and very poor help from the
hotel
.
Furthermore
, in 2010
hotel
Fix the agreement mistake
hotels
show examples
has
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
improved their customer
service
 and a minimum of 4%
says
Wrong verb form
said
show examples
 it was very poor.
Submitted by prarthana1r on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words hotel, service with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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