IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries' percentage share of Brazil's economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The bar chart below illustrates five different industries' percentage share of Brazil's economy in 2009 and 2019 with a forecast for 2029. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#bar #five #industries #percentage #brazil #economy #forecast #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The bar chart elaborates
the
Change preposition
on the
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 proportion of 5 various industries in the economy of Brazil as percentages in 2009,
2019
Correct word choice
and 2019
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 and provides future predictions for 2029.
Overall
Linking Words
, finance, tourism and energy
industry
Fix the agreement mistake
industries
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 play
main
Change the article
the main
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 role
while
Linking Words
 food processing and manufacturing have less share in the
overall
Linking Words
 economy. To give more detail,
finance
Correct article usage
the finance
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 industry had
most
Add an article
the most
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 impact on
economy
Add an article
the economy
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 with 30
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
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 and it increases gradually with
expactations
Correct your spelling
expectations
 of 40
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2029.
Tourism
Correct article usage
The tourism
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 and fossil fuel sector are more or less stable, both industries stood at 25
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2009,
Linking Words
however
Add a comma
,however
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 tourism sector is predicted to face
slight
Correct article usage
a slight
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 decrease
to
Change preposition
of
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 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
.
On the other hand
Linking Words
,
food
Correct article usage
the food
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 processing sector was at its highest figure in 2019
with
Change preposition
at
show examples
 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 but is projected to go down to 10
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in future. Manufacturing follows
quite
Add an article
the quite
a quite
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opposite
Correct article usage
the opposite
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 pattern of finance as
forecast
Add an article
the forecast
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 shows it is going to diminish from 20
Use synonyms
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of share to 5 in 2029.
Submitted by babayeva.ilayda on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words percent with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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