IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 8

In some places, fast food, prepared meals, and sugary drinks are now sold in more shops and at lower prices than in the past. Do you think this is a positive or a negative development?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
There is no doubt that these days many
people
Use synonyms
 prefer eating fast
meals
Use synonyms
 to healthy
food
Use synonyms
in addition
Linking Words
 to sugary drinks becoming, recently, so popular.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, junk
food
Use synonyms
 was in fewer shops and at higher prices in the past. The question is whether
this
Linking Words
 is a positive or a negative progression. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I am going to discuss both the downsides and upsides of fast
food
Use synonyms
 and examine why I feel that it is a negative enhancement in the field of
food
Use synonyms
 production. In terms of the negative side, the more fast
food
Use synonyms
 you eat, the more likely you will be susceptible to fat disorders. The main reason given to support
this
Linking Words
 claim is that fast
food
Use synonyms
 is enriched with fats and calories, leading to fat diseases and overweight. To illustrate, the Big Tasty meal (one of McDonald's most-bought
meals
Use synonyms
) contains about 800 calories alone.
Moreover
Linking Words
, it affects our cholesterol levels in the blood.
For instance
Linking Words
, many studies have proven that one of the main reasons for high levels of cholesterol is
such
Linking Words
 prepared
meals
Use synonyms
.
Although
Linking Words
 pre-made
food
Use synonyms
 can infect
people
Use synonyms
 with various diseases, it has some positive effects. In fact, fast
food
Use synonyms
 restaurants conserve time for
people
Use synonyms
, making them work more efficiently
instead
Linking Words
 of thinking about what they will cook every day.
For example
Linking Words
, when I was young, my mother used to hardly think what she would cook for me and my brother each day, affecting her ability to focus on her work. Certainly,
this
Linking Words
 is why many
people
Use synonyms
 tend to eat prepared
meals
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, despite the advantages of junk
meals
Use synonyms
, the disadvantages far outweigh the upsides.
Therefore
Linking Words
, I believe that
people
Use synonyms
, mostly younger, should only eat
meals
Use synonyms
 prepared at home. In order to decrease eating fast
food
Use synonyms
, we should increase their prices.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

coherence cohesion
Provide a clearer thesis statement at the end of your introduction to clearly state your position on whether this is a positive or negative development.
task achievement
Consider including a balanced discussion of both positive and negative aspects of fast food, rather than focusing mainly on the negative side.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: