The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

#rain #water #australian #town #summarise #information #features #comparisons

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The diagram depicts the process

to get

Change preposition

of getting

show examples

clean drinking

water

Use synonyms

Change preposition

from

show examples

rain in an Australian town.

Overall

Linking Words

, the

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

Use synonyms

is collected through the drains beside houses and

then

Linking Words

passed through the whole procedure in order to obtain clean drinking

water

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. It is evident that the

rain

Correct your spelling

rainwater

show examples

water

Use synonyms

is collected by drains being attached to all houses. The

water

Use synonyms

then

Linking Words

passed through the drain to

Use synonyms

water

Add an article

the water

a water

show examples

filter.After collecting the

water

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, it is passed through the

water

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filter to clean out bigger particles.

Then

Linking Words

, the

water

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flows through the filter with the help of pipes to

storage

Correct article usage

the storage

show examples

block where the

water

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is collected. In the final stage, the

water

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comes

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into

show examples

the

water

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treatment block through the channel. In the

water

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treatment block, chemicals are used to purify and obtain clean

water

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.The clean

water

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obtained is traversed back to houses for drinking purposes. The process is

repititive

Correct your spelling

repetitive

in nature and it will occur whenever it rains.

Submitted by vermatushar4577 on Mon Oct 02 2023

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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.

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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words water with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: Only 2 basic words for charts were used.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.

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2
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 9.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

155 words

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The diagram below shows how rain water is collected and then treated to be used as drinking water in an Australian town. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

Some people claim that not enough of the waste from homes is recycled. They say that the only way to increase recycling is for governments to make it a legal requirement. To what extent do you think laws are needed to make people recycle more of their waste?

The most important aim of science should be to improve people's lives. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Some people claim that museums and art galleries are not needed today because everyone can see historical objects or art works by computer. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Around the world, many adults are working from home, and more children are beginning to study from home because technology has become cheaper and more accessible. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?