IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people regard video games as a harmless, fun, or even as a useful educational tool. others, however, believe that video games are having an adverse effects on the people who played them. In your opinion, do the drawbacks of video games outweigh the benefits?

#people #video #games #fun #tool #effects
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Peopl`s
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People`s
 opinions differ as to whether
video
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games
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 are beneficial or not.
While
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 some
people
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 might regard it as a
complete
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completely
show examples
 negative way of gaming, I still believe it brings far more benefits than its drawbacks. It is true that playing
video
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games
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 may result in
harmfull
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harmful
 consequences.
Firstly
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, players might become addicted to playing
such
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games
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duo
Correct your spelling
due
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 to the exciting experiences they gain throughout playing.
This
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 could even be more destructive for youngers who
could not
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cannot
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 properly define limits for their
palying
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playing
time
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, so it would definitely
brings
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bring
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 a concerning situation for parents to struggle with.
Secondly
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, As
video
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games
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 on mobile phones
as well as
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 playstations are providing a single game
time
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 for
people
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,
therefore
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, they may not tend to spend
time
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 with their family and friends on outdoor
leisures
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leisure
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 and they may gradually turn to unsociable persons. Despite all
disadvantages
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the disadvantages
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 of
video
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games
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 described above, from my perspective, playing
games
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 on digital devices would provide
people
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 with
so
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apply
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many positive outputs if it
was
Correct subject-verb agreement
were
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 bounded. The first reason why I support the benefits of
such
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a
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apply
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gaming is that it obviously
boost
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boosts
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people
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`s imagination. By creating an artistic extraordinary world with supernatural humans and overpowering capabilities,
game`s
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the game`s
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atmosphier
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atmosphere
exposing
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exposes
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people
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 to too much imaginary
datas
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data
wich
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which
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improve
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improves
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 their ideation. At the same
time
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, I think,
a
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apply
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constant playing, using your fingers, eyes, and anticipation helps you on a better mental and physical
conection
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connection
 and
therefore
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make
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makes
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 you better at tasks like playing a musical instrument. In conclusion,
Although
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 spending too much
time
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 could have its negative aspects, I believe, it has the potential
of being
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to be
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 beneficial provided that
being
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it is
show examples
 limited.
Submitted by z.rajabi on

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coherence cohesion
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grammatical range accuracy
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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