some people say History is one of most important school subjects other people think that, in today world,subject like science and technology are more important than History
With an increasing number of job opportunities and population in the country, the choice for the students in choosing their how the country has survived
subjects
has become debatable. People say that history is more important than other subjects
. While
others argue that in this
modern world
, science
plays an important role in ruling the world
of technology. In my opinion
I feel both the Add a comma
,opinion
subjects
serve their own purposes, therefore
they are equally important.
History as a subject
, it
is an extremely useful Correct pronoun usage
apply
subject
for those who are interested in the field of arts and politics. It will guide individual
,Fix the agreement mistake
individuals
Change preposition
on
via
tremendous trouble and Change preposition
apply
then
it gives and
information on how to go about in the future. Correct word choice
apply
For instance
, great
leader of India, Add an article
the great
a great
Mahathma
Gandi Correct your spelling
Mahatma
has
regained its independence from Unnecessary verb
apply
British
Correct article usage
the British
by
his non-violent strategy. Change preposition
through
This
strategy is implemented in the daily lives of many people these days and by some freedom fighters. For them
it is so important and they feel it can rule the continent.
Add a comma
,them
On the other hand
, science
subjects
are said to be modern subjects
that
is
dominating the Change the verb form
are
world
. More and more people are becoming interested in this
filed
as more employment Correct your spelling
field
opportunity
have Fix the agreement mistake
opportunities
been emerged
in Change to the active voice
emerged
this
area. For example
, you go to the
hospital, you see doctors, Correct article usage
a
nurses
Correct word choice
and nurses
they
are from Correct pronoun usage
who
science
background and you go to Add an article
a science
construction
site you see machine operators and engineers Correct article usage
a construction
they
come from the same background, in Correct pronoun usage
who
short
every field is covered with the Add the comma(s)
,short
science
knowledge therefore
, all those job enthusiast
considers Change the determiner
enthusiasts
science
as the most important subject
. In my opinion
I feel both the Add a comma
,opinion
subjects
are equally important depending upon how they serve the purposes.
In a nutshell, in this
technological world
, science
subject
is considered a
dominant, Correct article usage
apply
however
; for the purpose of its independence, portraying of
its cultural inheritance and security history Change preposition
apply
on the other hand
is equally valuable. Hence
they are both indispensable to the modern school subject
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coherence cohesion
The essay lacks a clear thesis statement. Make sure to clearly state your opinion in the introduction.
coherence cohesion
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task achievement
Provide more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments.
grammatical range accuracy
The essay contains some sentence structure and grammar errors. Review your work for clarity and accuracy.
coherence cohesion
The essay would be more coherent if the ideas were organized in a more structured manner. Consider using paragraph breaks to separate different points.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion could be stronger. Summarize your main points and restate your opinion.
task achievement
Expand on your arguments and provide more analysis to fully develop your ideas.
Your opinion
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Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
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