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Writing Samples
Band 6

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.

The chart shows the percentage of women and men in one Asian country who passed when they took their driving test between 1980 and 2010. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. You should spend about 20 minutes on this task.
#percentage #women #men #asian #country #test #summarise #information #features #comparisons #minutes
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The chart
display
Change the verb form
displays
show examples
comparison
Add an article
a comparison
the comparison
show examples
 of
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
 passing
rate
Correct article usage
the rate
show examples
 of driving
test
Use synonyms
 in one Asian country from 1980 to 2010.
Overall
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
higher
Add an article
a higher
show examples
 passing ratio of driving
test
Use synonyms
 than
men
Use synonyms
 in each year of driving
test
Use synonyms
. Both
women
Use synonyms
 and
men
Use synonyms
 show an
increase
Replace the word
increased
show examples
trend
Use synonyms
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 of driving tests passed. In 1980, nearly 50% of
women
Use synonyms
 passed the driving
test
Use synonyms
while
Linking Words
 only 28%
Use synonyms
men
Change preposition
of men
show examples
 did the same.
This
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 increased in 1990 with just over 50% of
women
Use synonyms
pass
Wrong verb form
passing
show examples
 the
test
Use synonyms
,
while
Linking Words
 almost 40% of
men
Use synonyms
 passed.
This
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
continue
Wrong verb form
continued
show examples
 in 2000, with
men
Use synonyms
 and
women
Use synonyms
show
Wrong verb form
showing
show examples
significant
Correct article usage
a significant
show examples
 increase nearly 70% and 50% respectively.
This
Linking Words
trend
Use synonyms
 changed in 2010 with
men
Use synonyms
passing
Correct your spelling
men-passing
show examples
 ratio
was
Replace the word
being
show examples
 steady.
In
Change preposition
On
show examples
Correct article usage
the otyher
show examples
otyher
Correct your spelling
other
 hand,
Use synonyms
women
Correct article usage
the women
show examples
passed
Correct pronoun usage
who passed
show examples
 percentage declined to 65%.
Overall
Linking Words
, the
trend
Use synonyms
 showed an increase
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
percentage
Correct article usage
the percentage
show examples
 passed ratio for both
gender
Change to a plural noun
genders
show examples
.
Furthermore
Linking Words
,
women
Use synonyms
was
Change the verb form
were
show examples
 more
succesfull
Correct your spelling
successful
 compared to
men
Use synonyms
 in terms of
result
Add an article
the result
show examples
of
Change preposition
on
show examples
driving
Correct article usage
the driving
show examples
test
Use synonyms
.
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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "overall, while".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words men, women, test, trend with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "show" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "percentage" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "ratio" was used 3 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 5 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increase" was used 4 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "nearly" was used 2 times.
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