The most essential component of a person's life is his or her time at the workplace, and life turns meaningless once no job satisfaction is obtained. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#component #person #life #time #workplace #job #satisfaction

The increasingly specialised nature of today’s

jobs

could be said to have created many

jobs

that provide little satisfaction -

while

some argue that

job

satisfaction is not necessary, since people can find meaning in other things, there are those who contend that people not

finding

Wrong verb form

find

show examples

joy in their

jobs

will inevitably fall into nihilism. I agree with the latter opinion

Remove the comma

apply

show examples

and believe that finding a

job

one likes is essential to living a meaningful life. On the one hand, there are those who believe that for some, working

jobs

that they do not necessarily enjoy provides them the opportunity to provide for their children. A boring but

high paying

Add a hyphen

high-paying

show examples

job

may be able to provide for a child’s education, housing and more, and the alternative of starvation would be much less meaningful.

Thus

although

they might not find meaning in their

job

, it might feel fulfilling enough for them that their life has meaning because they are living for a cause bigger than themselves.

This

is why many individuals,

for instance

, continue to do menial

jobs

that they

nonetheless

do not find meaningful,

instead

of simply quitting.

On the other hand

, I argue that since we spend most of our adult lives at work, it is imperative that we spend that time enjoying what we do.

This

is because an unenjoyable

job

can bleed into other areas of our lives - if we come from work frustrated, we are more prone to taking it out on our children or our partners.

Moreover

, a stressful and unsatisfying

job

might

also

affect one’s health and diminish the ability to enjoy things.

This

means that in the end, we not only have little joy in working, but

also

other

Change preposition

in other

show examples

areas of life as well.

Thus

, I conclude that

while

it is understandable that many have to work

jobs

that give them no joy, I still

nonetheless

argue that doing so

in the long run

Add the comma(s)

, in the long run,

show examples

will result in moral nihilism and harm others.

Submitted by nguyenlyacbd on Wed Oct 04 2023

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task achievement

The introduction could be more engaging and provide a clear statement of the writer's position.

task achievement

Consider providing more examples or evidence to support the arguments made.

coherence cohesion

Ensure that ideas are logically organized and connected throughout the essay.

lexical resource

Use a wider range of vocabulary throughout the essay.

grammatical range accuracy

Review the use of tenses to improve grammatical accuracy.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

for example
for instance
to illustrate this
to give a clear example
such as
namely
to illustrate
take, for example

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10Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
5Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

330 words

5.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 5.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The most essential component of a person's life is his or her time at the workplace, and life turns meaningless once no job satisfaction is obtained. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Advantages and disadvantages of working abroad. Why is it getting a popular idea of living abroad? To what degree do you agree with this choice.

Some people believe that it is best to accept a bad situation, such as an unsatisfactory job or shortage of money. Others argue that it is better to try and improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Many feel that students today should learn practical skills at school such as car maintenance and managing a bank account. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Some experts believe that it is better for children to begin learning a foreign language at primary school rather than secondary school. Do the advantages of this outweigh the disadvantages?