During a recent plane journey, you sat next to a businessman who owns a chain of restaurants. You talked to him and he suggested that you should contact him about a possible job in one of his restaurants. Write a letter to this businessman. In your letter remind him when and where you met tell him what kind of job you are interested in say why you think you would be suitable for the job

#plane #journey #businessman #chain #restaurants #contact #job

Dear sir I am writing

this

letter to let you know my problems

that

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

I took a flight to HCM city on Vietjet

air

Capitalize word

Air

show examples

on November 15th. By chance, we got together on

this

flight, I was happy to meet you and I know that you are a successful businessman with

restaurant

Add an article

a restaurant

the restaurant

show examples

. I would like to let you know that I am looking for a job in

a restaurants

Correct the article-noun agreement

a restaurant

restaurants

show examples

. One important thing about the job is that I used to work in a pub in my town, and I intend to move to Da Nang City to like work , I wonder

that

Correct word choice

show examples

one of your restaurants in

this

city

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

any vacant positions for

waitress

Add an article

the waitress

a waitress

show examples

. The main reason for

this

is that I have some

experiences

Fix the agreement mistake

experience

show examples

to give

Change the verb form

giving

show examples

services

for

Change preposition

show examples

the guests.

Moreover

, I am

Change the article

apply

show examples

flexible and friendly, from my point of view, I am suitable for

this

king

Correct your spelling

kind

show examples

of job. From my point of

view

Add a comma

,view

show examples

I really hope to hear back from you soon, and one more thing is that I want to quickly come to your restaurant to work. Thank you very much for

prompt

Correct pronoun usage

your prompt

show examples

attention to

this

matter. Best regards, Ms. Nhi

Submitted by quynhtranhbh on Thu Oct 05 2023

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coherence cohesion

Organize your ideas more clearly and follow a logical structure in your letter.

coherence cohesion

The greeting and closing of your letter can be improved. Use more formal language.

coherence cohesion

Focus on one main idea per paragraph and develop it fully.

task achievement

Provide more specific information about your experience and skills that make you suitable for the job.

task achievement

Ensure that your writing tone is formal throughout the letter.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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2Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Grammar mistakes
 

6 paragraphs

197 words

4.50

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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Topic Vocabulary:

chain of restaurants
potential job opportunity
relevant experience
managerial role
customer service
qualifications
certifications
unique skills
eagerness
admiration
resume
references
face-to-face meeting

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