The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

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The given illustration depicts information about online shopping sales for the retail sector in New Zealand in 2003 and one decade later.

Overall

Linking Words

, the best sale in 2003

were

Change the verb form

was

show examples

travel, in 2013 film/music, but the least used was 2003 books and second-year clothes. It can be clearly seen that in the beginning travel sales were the leader,

however

Linking Words

, with some gradual changes it decreased to 7 per

cent

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, film and music were in the

last

Linking Words

stages in 2003, by dramatic changes index improved to just over 30 per

cent

Use synonyms

and became a leader in 2013. It is obvious that clothes sales were in the middle, but with some slow changes, they decreased by 8 per

cent

Use synonyms

in 10 years. It is interesting to note that the lowest change in percentage was the most important and useful thing book. From the beginning until the end, it uplifted by only 3 per

cent

Use synonyms

Submitted by aikumarbekarys on Thu Oct 05 2023

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "however".

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.

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Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 67%.

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Vocabulary: Replace the words cent with synonyms.

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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 4 times.

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Vocabulary: The word "decreased" was used 2 times.

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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

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3
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 6.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

5 paragraphs

152 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

pie chart
online shopping
retail sector
New Zealand
comparison
increase
shift
traditional
popularity
platforms
technology
internet access
consumer behavior
preferences
factors
growth
impact
brick-and-mortar stores
challenges
opportunities
future trends

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The pie chart below show the online shopping sales for retail sector in new Zealand in 2003 and 2013.

Some people believe that watching TV is bad for children while others claim it has positive effect for children as they grow up. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

You have recently used the services of a moving company. At the new place you found out that some of your items were badly damaged. Write a letter to the company manager including the following: Give details of your move List items that were damaged Say what you expect the manager to do

People have diﬀerent views regarding the importance of a building’s function in comparison to its exterior appearance. In my opinion, I agree with the idea that a construction’s purpose should be more highly valued than the appearance for a number of reasons.