some people say that, to reduce traffic congestion in large city, governments should act to reduce the number of cars on the roads. others say that it is the responsibility of individuals to use cars less and public ptransport more. discuss both these views and give your opinion. give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

The solution to manage
traffic
in big cities has been discussed currently. Some
people
suppose that the authority is in charge of reducing private
vehicles
on the road in order to reduce
cars
Change the noun form
car
show examples
congestion. Meanwhile,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
others believe that individual's awareness to lower the use of
cars
is needed and to utilize public
transport
instead
of keep using
automobile
Fix the agreement mistake
automobiles
show examples
. I personally believe that collective action is required to fight
traffic
issues related to overloaded
cars
on the street. I personally believe that
in other words
, wise government policy and individual awareness should work hand in hand for
a
Remove the article
apply
show examples
better
traffic
management in the future. Nowadays, the number of private
cars
is overloaded
due to
several reasons. Compared to the previous decades, many
people
now own
cars
because it is more affordable and has practical payment method
such
as instalment. It is predicted that more
citizen
Fix the agreement mistake
citizens
show examples
will buy new private
vehicles
in the upcoming years
due to
advanced features and low taxes. In order to prevent
people
from buying new
cars
, the government's role is required to establish an updated policy related to car tax. By increasing car tax
people
would refuse to upgrade their
cars
by buying a new one. So that as the old
vehicles
will be broken the number of
cars
on the street will be reduced in the future.
Such
rules
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been tested and succeeded in many countries
such
as Japan and Taiwan. As
this
process will take a very long time to achieve its goal, another solution is required. In the past,
public
Add an article
the public
show examples
refused to use public
transport
because of the lack of management and safety.
However
, that kind of reason is no longer relevant as the authority has improved the quality of public transportation in big cities.
For instance
, Jakarta as one of the cities with the worst
traffic
began to provide more public
transport
options and routes to attract the citizens to switch from private
vehicles
.
Along with
that, CCTV and security guard has been included in many public transportation to improve customer safety.
Moreover
, many of public
transport
are subsidized by the government so
that is
so much cheaper now. With all of these improvements and ease,
people
who keep using personal
cars
when they can use public
transport
are considered selfish. Without personal awareness, it is almost impossible to achieve well-managed
traffic
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction and Conclusion
Your essay lacks a clear introduction and conclusion. These are important parts of an essay as they help to provide a clear structure and set the tone for the rest of the essay. Make sure to include them in your writing.
Specific Examples
You should provide more specific examples to support your ideas. This will make your essay more persuasive and demonstrate a deeper understanding of the topic.
Logical Structure
You need to work on the logical structure of your essay. Some of your ideas seem disconnected and it is not clear how they relate to each other. Make sure to organize your thoughts in a logical and coherent manner.
Lexical Resource
You should use a wider range of vocabulary to enhance your writing. This will make your essay more interesting and show a higher level of language proficiency.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy
You have several grammatical errors throughout your essay. It is important to work on your grammar to improve the accuracy of your writing.

Structure your answers in logical paragraphs

The easiest way to score well on the IELTS Task 2 writing portion is to structure your writing in a solid essay format.

A strong argument essay structure can be split up into 4 paragraphs, each containing 4 sentences (except the conclusion paragraph, which only contains 3 sentences).

Stick to this essay structure:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Ultimate Speaking practice for IELTS

Practice speaking step by step, answer real-life questions, and build your confidence. Start your free trial and improve your speaking skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays:

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!