The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.

The chart below shows the expenditure on three categories among different age groups of residents in the UK in 2004.
This
diagram illustrates the percentage of expense in three domains among 5 age groups in the UK in 2004.
Overall
,
in contrast
, the food and drinks portion had a stable
difference
between age groups, and the least
different
Replace the word
difference
show examples
between each domain was in
31
Correct article usage
the 31
show examples
-45
group
.
Averagely
Replace the word
On average
show examples
, there was a positive
difference
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
2 to 8
percent
in the food and drink area between each
group
. Except for the eight
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
difference
between
Correct article usage
the
show examples
under 30 and 31-45
group
Change to a plural noun
groups
show examples
, which were about six and fourteen
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
for each.
In addition
, the rest of the three groups which were 46-60, 61-75 and over 76+
group
, only had a gap
around
Change preposition
of around
show examples
three
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
between them, which was seventeen, twenty,
twenty-three
Correct word choice
and twenty-three
show examples
pencent
Correct your spelling
per cent
respectively. In
31
Correct article usage
the 31
show examples
-45
group
, the range of
difference
between each area was less than ten
percent
.
Firstly
, the least was the entertainment portion, which was eight
precent
Correct your spelling
per cent
, after that was restaurant and hotel for twelve
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
and thirteen
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
in food and drinks
propotion
Correct your spelling
proportion
promotions
.
Submitted by chaoweikevin on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words difference, group, percent with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "difference" was used 4 times.
Vocabulary: The word "around" was used 2 times.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: