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Writing Samples /
Band 5.5

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant

The table shows data about underground railway systems in six major cities with date opened, kilometres of route and passenger numbers per year in millions. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, making comparisons where relevant
#data #railway #systems #six #cities #date #kilometres #route #passenger #numbers #year #millions #summarise #information #features #comparisons
The given table represents information about six different towns with
quantity
Add an article
the quantity
a quantity
show examples
 of visitors and where
its
Correct pronoun usage
they
show examples
 opened between 1863 and 2001 years.
Overall
, in half of
places
Correct article usage
the places
show examples
Correct article usage
the numbers
show examples
numbers
Fix the agreement mistake
number
show examples
 of
passengers
were
Correct subject-verb agreement
was
show examples
 quite good ,
however
 in other the number did not exceed 150
million
. It can be clearly seen that
Correct article usage
the
show examples
megapolis London which opened in 1863 had the highest
kilometres
 of
route
, it is 394 with 774
million
passengers
.
Whereas
,
metropolis
Correct article usage
the metropolis
show examples
 Kyoto which realised in 1981 had the lowest
kilometres
 of
route
,
furthermore
 the minimum
quantity
 of humans, which was 45
million
. It could
be notice
Change the verb form
be noticed
show examples
 that
two
Correct article usage
the two
show examples
 cities Kyoto and Los Angeles in
kilometres
 of
route
Add an article
the route
show examples
 did not reach 30 in each other,
moreover
Add a comma
moreover,
show examples
 both in sum did not exceed in numbers of
passengers
 100
million
.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
 year 1900 Paris and 1927 Tokyo
also
 saw that both cities had
biggest
Change the article
the biggest
show examples
quantity
 of people in sum
its
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
just over 3000
million
 people. It is interesting to note that Washington DC which
realised
Add a missing verb
was realised
show examples
 in 1976 year had
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 medium
quantity
 of
passengers
 and
kilometres
 of
route
, which was 126 km and 144
million
 humanity.
Submitted by aikumarbekarys on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words quantity, passengers, million, kilometres, route with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "numbers of" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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