IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

the plans below show a public park when it first opened in 1920 and the same park today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparison where relevant

#plans #show #park #first #summarise #information #features #comparison
The following maps
are showed
Wrong verb form
show
show examples
 the changes
the
Correct your spelling
that
show examples
 have been made to
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
Grange Park between
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
1920 and today.
Overall
, lots of changes have
occured
Correct your spelling
occurred
as well as
 additions, like an amphitheatre for concerts, a cafe and a
water
 feature. It is seen that the fountain has been replaced by the rose garden which is surrounded by four places for seats, and it is located in the centre of the
map
. An amphitheatre for concerts is applied
instead
 of the stage for musicians, and it is placed
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the left side of the
map
, in the centre.
In addition
, the garden rose is located on the
right
 of the north entrance, and it has been changed into a cafe.
Furthermore
, the pond for
water
 plants, which was located on the upper
right
 side of the
map
,
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
has been reconstructed into a children's play area. As considered to the glasshouse that was placed on the southest
right
 area of the
map
, it was deconstructed and a
water
 feature took its place.
Moreover
, the north and south entrances have remained the same, and
thay
Correct your spelling
they
 have added an underground entrance for
car
Correct article usage
a car
show examples
 park located
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the
right
 side of the
water
 feature.
Submitted by nikoletta.louka on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task achievement
The introduction can be improved by providing clearer information about the changes in the park over time.
lexical resource
Try to use more varied vocabulary and phrasing throughout the essay.
grammatical range accuracy
Be careful with the word choice and accuracy of descriptions. For example, the amphitheatre is not applied, but rather built.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Learn how to write high-scoring essays with powerful words.
Download Free PDF and start improving you writing skills today!
What to do next:
Look at other essays: