IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

The line graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.

The line graph below shows US consumers' average annual expenditures on cell phone and residential phone services between 2001 and 2010.
#line #consumers #expenditures #cell #phone #services
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It is
undeniable
Correct article usage
an undeniable
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 fact,
doctors
Correct word choice
that doctors
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, teachers and nurses contribute continuously to
social
Add an article
the social
a social
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 environment. Our society develops owing to the owners of these professions.
Instead
Linking Words
 of
this
Linking Words
 hard
Add a comma
working,
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working
Replace the word
work
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 they earn a
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
salary
Use synonyms
 that
applied
Add a missing verb
is applied
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from
Change preposition
by
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government
Correct article usage
the government
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, not only in our
country
Use synonyms
,
in
Correct word choice
but in
show examples
whole
Change the article
the whole
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 world. Sometimes
they
Correct pronoun usage
their
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salaries
Change the verb form
salary
show examples
 levels are not higher than
an
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
average.
However
Linking Words
, the amount of the
salary
Use synonyms
 depends on the
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
 of
Correct article usage
the
show examples
country
Use synonyms
, it is not enough for normal living
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
everywhere. It is known that
,
Remove the comma
apply
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each
Change preposition
in each
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country
Use synonyms
 popular
persons
Replace the word
people
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such
Linking Words
 as entertainment and sports celebrities earn
enermous
Correct your spelling
enormous
 incomes. If these persons
compared
Add a missing verb
are compared
show examples
 with doctors, nurses and teachers, it can be seen easily their
contribute
Replace the word
contribution
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 is
equals
Replace the word
equal
show examples
approximately
Change preposition
to approximately
show examples
 zero. In my opinion, their incomes directly
depends
Change the verb form
depend
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 on their
talants
Correct your spelling
talents
.
Although
Linking Words
 that
only
Add a missing verb
is only
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 useful for
theirself
Correct your spelling
their self
 İt must be admitted that they are unique and unrepeatable.
An
Correct article usage
The
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 other hand, doctors and teachers are plentiful in every
country
Use synonyms
, they are easily replaceable and their wages are determined by the government.
Therefore
Linking Words
, the volume of
salary
Use synonyms
 cannot be increased by a fantastic amount. Unfortunately,
İt
Correct your spelling
it
 is impossible to increase their
salary
Use synonyms
, even if we want
Linking Words
due
Change preposition
apply
show examples
to automatically
adjusted
Wrong verb form
adjust
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according to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the budjet
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budjet
Correct your spelling
budget
 of
Use synonyms
country
Correct article usage
the country
show examples
.
Submitted by zuleykhaaliyeva223 on

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words salary, country with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "stand" was used 2 times.
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