24.With the increasing demand for energy sources of oil and gas, people should look for sources of oil and gas in remote and untouched natural places. Do the advantages outweigh disadvantages of damaging such areas?

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It is said that individuals should look for places where
sources
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of
oil
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and gas can be found
,
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apply

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since more and more of them are needed.
This
Linking Words

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essay would argue that despite these products can lead to
industrial
Correct article usage
an industrial

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revolution,
it
Correct pronoun usage
they

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also
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causes
Correct subject-verb agreement
cause

It seems that the verb causes does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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environmental damage,
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct pronoun usage
which

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means that the advantages do not outweigh the drawbacks. The
advantages
Fix the agreement mistake
advantage

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is that
oil
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

and gas hosts can lead to
industrial
Correct article usage
an industrial

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revolution, allowing more people to have employment opportunities, since in some jobs more
number of
Correct quantifier usage
apply

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workers would be needed, in
this
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way, unemployed people will reduce.
Also
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,
oil
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

creates gasoline supplies, reducing its price, contributing to economic growth and
a
Correct article usage
the

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sustainable development of the country.
For example
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, in
Spain
Add a comma
Spain,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase in Spain. Consider adding a comma.

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the price of
the
Correct article usage
apply

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gasoline increased after the war between Russia and
Ucrania
Correct your spelling
Ukraine

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began
,
Remove the comma
apply

It appears that you have an unnecessary comma before the dependent clause marker because. Consider removing the comma.

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because they lost a source where they could get
petrolium
Correct your spelling
petroleum

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.
However
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, I believe that
this
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can be solved
by
Change preposition
in

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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other ways,
such
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

as the use of electric cars, where gasoline is not needed, and it won’t cause any harm to the planet. The great drawback is that it is harmful
for
Change the preposition
to

The preposition for after the adjective harmful may be incorrect. Consider changing it to another preposition.

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the world. The main reason is that looking for
sources
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
natural
Add an article
the natural
a natural

The noun phrase natural environment seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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environment
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is

It seems that the verb are does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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detrimental and
have
Correct subject-verb agreement
has

It seems that the verb have does not agree with the subject. Consider changing the verb form.

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adverse effects on
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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nature. Excessive use of fossil fuels and
oil
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

,
gas
Correct word choice
and gas

It seems that conjunction use may be incorrect here.

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extraction leads to a surge in global temperatures affecting green
area
Fix the agreement mistake
areas

It seems that area may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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. Causing damage in natural areas and spreading diseases affecting humans and animals,
ecosystem
Add an article
the ecosystem

The noun phrase ecosystem seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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will be
distubed
Correct your spelling
disturbed

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due to
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

human intervention.
For instance
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, because of climate change,
sources
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

of fresh water are reducing,
Linking Words
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

this
Correct pronoun usage
which

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causes life danger
in
Change preposition
for

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all living things, since they need water to live.
Therefore
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, I would argue that
disadvantages
Correct article usage
the disadvantages

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in
Change preposition
of

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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touching natural areas for
searching
Verb problem
apply

There may be a verb use issue here.

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energy
sources
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

are more significant than the benefits. In conclusion,
although
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

searching for
sources
Use synonyms

It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

in
natural
Correct article usage
the natural

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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environmnet
Correct your spelling
environment
environments

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will increase the number of
employments
Fix the agreement mistake
employment

It seems that employments may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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and the economy of the country, it will scarce the
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential

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resources that living things need, for these reasons, the negatives far outnumber the positives.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • unprecedented
  • unspoiled
  • hydrocarbon exploration
  • biodiversity
  • sustainable energy
  • renewable resources
  • carbon footprint
  • environmental degradation
  • ecosystem conservation
  • indigenous rights
  • climate resilience
  • habitat destruction
  • infrastructure development
  • technological advancements
  • economic stimulus
  • social unrest
  • environmental conservation
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