IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The diagram belw shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.

The diagram belw shows how geothermal energy is used to produce electricity. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
#belw #energy #electricity #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The flow chart shows information about the process of the geothermal
where
Correct word choice
which
show examples
 is used to electricity which consists of five stages.
Overall
Linking Words
, the process began
from
Change preposition
with
show examples
 cold water storage in the surface
area
Use synonyms
Linking Words
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
finally
Linking Words
distribute
Wrong verb form
distributed
show examples
 to
Add an article
the customer
a customer
show examples
customer
Fix the agreement mistake
customers
show examples
 by the transmission grid.
Firstly
Linking Words
, the cold water storage
put
Add a missing verb
is put
show examples
 in the surface
area
Use synonyms
, and
then
Linking Words
 it is
pumping
Wrong verb form
pumped
show examples
 into the ground with
length
Correct article usage
a length
show examples
more
Change preposition
of more
show examples
 or less
at
Change preposition
apply
show examples
4.5km.
Next,
Linking Words
the cold water
is passing
Wrong verb form
passes
show examples
 through the hot rocks
area
Use synonyms
 or geothermal zone in
grounded
Add an article
the grounded
a grounded
show examples
area
Use synonyms
then
Linking Words
 it is
converting
Wrong verb form
converted
show examples
 to
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
a
Change the article
apply
show examples
steam
Use synonyms
. In the next step, the heating result
become
Change the verb form
becomes
show examples
 the
steam
Use synonyms
where
Correct word choice
that
show examples
 is
pumping
Wrong verb form
pumped
show examples
 to the surface
area
Use synonyms
 through the pipeline. In
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the subsequently
show examples
subsequently
Change the adverb
subsequent
show examples
 step, the condenser
is received
Wrong verb form
receives
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
steam
Use synonyms
 from the underground.
Then
Linking Words
, the
steam
Use synonyms
 is
transfer
Wrong verb form
transferred
show examples
 via
pipeline
Correct article usage
a pipeline
show examples
 into the generator
turbine
Use synonyms
 as
a
Correct article usage
the
show examples
 main power to operate the
turbine
Use synonyms
. The
turbine
Use synonyms
 inside
generator
Correct article usage
the generator
show examples
 is pumped by the
steam
Use synonyms
. The generator
turbine
Use synonyms
is converting
Wrong verb form
converts
show examples
 the
steam
Use synonyms
 to
become
Verb problem
apply
show examples
electricity.
Finally
Linking Words
, the electricity is
distributing
Wrong verb form
distributed
show examples
 to the customer through
transmission
Correct article usage
the transmission
show examples
 grid.
Submitted by haloalwan on

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "finally".
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Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words area, steam, turbine with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "information" in your introduction.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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