The pie charts introduce the proportion of online shopping sales in Canada in 2005 and 2010 for retail sectors.

#proportion #sales #canada #sectors

The pie charts introduce the proportion of online shopping sales in Canada in 2005 and 2010 for retail sectors. As can be seen from the pie charts online shopping sales have three categories.

For example

, electronics and

appliance

Fix the agreement mistake

appliances

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,food and beverage, home furnishings and video games

separated

Add a missing verb

are separated

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by different colours. Now turning to the details of

2005

Change the article

the 2005

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year’s sales. It is crystal clear that electronics and appliance

Change the verb form

are

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leading with 35 per

cent

than in

2010

Change the article

the 2010

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year.

Furthermore

twenty five

Add a hyphen

twenty-five

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per

cent

of home furnishings,

whereas

the average for in 2010 year in

this

category is a small minority.

In addition

Correct article usage

the percentages

show examples

Correct article usage

the percentages

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percentages

Fix the agreement mistake

percentage

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of video games are

Correct article usage

a little

show examples

little

Correct article usage

a little

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less

Correct word choice

lower

show examples

Wee

Correct your spelling

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see from

chart

Correct article usage

the chart

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than

Correct word choice

that

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in 2010, food and beverage is thirty per

cent

and

this

is significantly more in 2005. Video games were a mere 18 per

cent

, but by 2010

this

figure had grown to almost

quarter

Correct article usage

a quarter

show examples

. In general, the online transactions did progress in terms of only five years in different parts

Submitted by dnm.best on Tue Oct 10 2023

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Sentence 1 - Background statement
Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
Sentence 3 - Thesis
Sentence 4 - Outline sentence

Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph

Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
Sentence 2 - Example
Sentence 3 - Discussion
Sentence 4 - Conclusion

Paragraph 4 - Conclusion

Sentence 1 - Summary
Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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5Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
16Grammar mistakes
 

5 paragraphs

161 words

<4

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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The pie charts introduce the proportion of online shopping sales in Canada in 2005 and 2010 for retail sectors.

Fully explain your ideas

Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

Social interaction between people are destroyed by technology. Do you agree or disagree.

Some people think that development in technology causes environmental problems. Other people believe that technology can solve environmental problems. Discuss both sides of the argument and then give your opinion

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge and experience.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion