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Band 4

Job satisfaction is more important than earning a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#job #satisfaction #salary
It has always been argued that job gratification is much
essential
Correct quantifier usage
more essential
show examples
 as compared to getting a high package salary. I partially agree with
this
 given statement and
this
 essay shall shed light upon my perspective in subsequent paragraphs. Foremost, why job satisfaction is
an
Change the article
apply
show examples
important for personnel?
This
 is because
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it gives
energy
Change the article
the energy
show examples
 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
work
 hard in their field. If employees
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
 satisfied in their
work
 domain, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
show examples
 pay more attention to their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
show examples
 with the assistance of
this
 companies can improve trading rating points among society, but once they are not satisfied, they never focus properly on their occupation.
For instance
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that 65% of workers are doing
work
 where they do not have satisfaction without worry of high salary. Paradoxically, high salary
package
Fix the agreement mistake
packages
show examples
 in their job play
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
show examples
 role as nowadays,
people
 are running behind
money
Change preposition
in money
show examples
 because it is necessary for each and every person without capital
people
 do not live quality of life
among
Change preposition
in
show examples
community
Add an article
the community
show examples
. It is not only important for the latter stage of life but
also
people
 may fulfill their basic needs
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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without
aid
Add an article
the aid
show examples
 of other individuals.
For example
, an article published by The Tribune newspaper showed that approximately 90% of the population
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
show examples
 to
work
 in
thet
Correct your spelling
the
 industry where they may get handsome amounts of money because inflation is proliferating
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
.
To conclude
,
i
Change the capitalization
I
show examples
 personally believe that both are important in
work
 if
people
have
Verb problem
are
show examples
satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfied
show examples
in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
work
, they can do
work
 happily
along with
 massive income is
also
 compulsory for them.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into paragraphs to improve coherence and readability.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
grammatical range accuracy
Use accurate grammar and punctuation to improve clarity.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas and develop them further.
coherence cohesion
Use a formal and academic tone in your writing.
grammatical range accuracy
Review your essay for spelling errors and correct them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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