IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

Job satisfaction is more important than earning a high salary. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this opinion?

#job #satisfaction #salary
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It has always been argued that job gratification is much
essential
Correct quantifier usage
more essential
show examples
 as compared to getting a high package salary. I partially agree with
this
Linking Words
 given statement and
this
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 essay shall shed light upon my perspective in subsequent paragraphs. Foremost, why job satisfaction is
an
Change the article
apply
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important for personnel?
This
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 is because
of
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apply
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it gives
energy
Change the article
the energy
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 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
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work
Use synonyms
 hard in their field. If employees
have
Verb problem
are
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 satisfied in their
work
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 domain, they
would
Wrong verb form
will
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 pay more attention to their
task
Fix the agreement mistake
tasks
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 with the assistance of
this
Linking Words
 companies can improve trading rating points among society, but once they are not satisfied, they never focus properly on their occupation.
For instance
Linking Words
, a survey conducted by Harward University revealed that 65% of workers are doing
work
Use synonyms
 where they do not have satisfaction without worry of high salary. Paradoxically, high salary
package
Fix the agreement mistake
packages
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 in their job play
crucial
Correct article usage
a crucial
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 role as nowadays,
people
Use synonyms
 are running behind
money
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in money
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 because it is necessary for each and every person without capital
people
Use synonyms
 do not live quality of life
among
Change preposition
in
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community
Add an article
the community
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. It is not only important for the latter stage of life but
also
Linking Words
people
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 may fulfill their basic needs
with
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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without
aid
Add an article
the aid
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 of other individuals.
For example
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, an article published by The Tribune newspaper showed that approximately 90% of the population
prefer
Correct subject-verb agreement
prefers
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 to
work
Use synonyms
 in
thet
Correct your spelling
the
 industry where they may get handsome amounts of money because inflation is proliferating
continously
Correct your spelling
continuously
.
To conclude
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,
i
Change the capitalization
I
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 personally believe that both are important in
work
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 if
people
Use synonyms
have
Verb problem
are
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satisfaction
Replace the word
satisfied
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in
Change preposition
with
show examples
 their
work
Use synonyms
, they can do
work
Use synonyms
 happily
along with
Linking Words
 massive income is
also
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 compulsory for them.
Submitted by deepikanayyar1996 on

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task achievement
Provide a clear thesis statement in the introduction to clearly state your position.
coherence cohesion
Organize your essay into paragraphs to improve coherence and readability.
task achievement
Provide more relevant and specific examples to support your points.
grammatical range accuracy
Use accurate grammar and punctuation to improve clarity.
task achievement
Expand on your ideas and develop them further.
coherence cohesion
Use a formal and academic tone in your writing.
grammatical range accuracy
Review your essay for spelling errors and correct them.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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